Suicide.

Flashback 3

Flashback 3

3 years ago...

I sat on the park bench.  I was thirteen now.  My birthday was four days ago.  It was a warm, sunny summer day, and I was just chilling at the park, thinking.

I still was wondering if Dad had written that because he hated us.  If he didn't or did really care.  I sniffed and looked into my clasped hands.  I opened them, to reveal a cool, smooth locket in my hand.

It was a present from Grandpa.  But it wasn't even thoughtful...it had only a picture of Dad in it, not even me.  I assumed it was to remind me every day that I was, well, the "mistake", the "cause of him commiting suicide".   I hugged myself and rubbed my arms.  My grandpa hated my guts, because I was a mistake.  A baby born from a stupid mistake.

Looking across the bridge, I saw Nick.  He had no idea I was here, watching him smoke behind a tree.  I rolled my eyes.  My brother was going through a phase.  He claimed, when I caught him the first time, and I quote, "Listen, it's just a temporary distraction from reality.  Sorta like daydreaming.  But better.  When I inhale, it's me realizing all my problems.  Blowing out the smoke is letting my problems go.  Try it...when you get older."

When you get older.  I had snorted.  He was only fifteen, how ironic.  I looked, suddenly angry, at my locket.

Then I stormed to the bridge.  I stared at my reflection in the clear water for a moment:  dark freckles dotting my face, tan skin, long brown hair that was so dark it almost looked black.  I sighed, stood straighter, swung forward just slightly, then threw my arm back -

"Don't do it!" shrieked an oddly, vaugly familiar male voice.  Suddenly someone grabbed me from behind and spun me around, almost causing both of us to tumble.  I faced him.

He had curly dirty blonde hair, dark chocolate colored eyes, and pale skin.  I felt my heart go wild and my stomach drop to my feet.  He seemed about my age.

"Er, don't do it?" he tried, but failing to end this awkward moment.  "I just, um, had to stop you.  You can't end your life!  You have a lot to live for."  The boy put me down.

I stood for a moment, confused, and then realization washed over me like a wave.  I burst into laughter.  "You thought I was going to jump?!  No, why would I?  I was throwing this locket into the river."  I showed it to him, and watched as his face went red with embarrassment.

"Sorry...um, I'm Sean.  I think we go to the same school."  he held out his hand, which I shook.  I replied, "I'm Danielle.  And yes, I've seen you before, in French."

Well, needless to say, that's how I spent my summer.  Talking to Sean.  We became closer and closer and closer...until one day...

"Sean?"  I asked.  It was now a week before school started (major time jump!), and we were all stocked up on school supplies.  We were at Walmart together, picking out backpacks while our Moms looked at makeup.  "I need to tell you something..."

Ok, so, I bet two thousand bucks that Sean had already known what I was gonna tell him.  We had gotten to the point of inseperatable.  It was no secret that I had a crush on him.  Sean knew everyone...he was annoying that way.  He, though, still didn't know about my beatings in the past unfortunatly.  I didn't think I would ever be telling anybody.

"Yup?" he flashed a slightly knowing look, so I inhaled and prepared for rejection and heart-break.

I started, talking quickly with a nervous high-pitched voice.  "So, um, I think your really sweet.  You are, like, my closest friend, and your funny too, and, um, well, you are really, really cool.  I don't want to make things, uh, awkward, but ever since we met -"

Sean held up a hand so I would pause.  Then he glanced at our totally clueless Moms, who had wondered into the school section.  Then he spun around...

And kissed me...

Sean.  Anderson.  Kissing.  Me.  Oh.  My.  God.

It lasted three seconds, but it felt like eternity.  He hugged me in the proccess.  But it was weird because neither of us really had experience with kissing.  Probably why it only lasted a few seconds.

Then we let go, smiling and blushing and doing fake coughs.  Our eyes kept sliding to meet each other's, then they would wonder off for five seconds, and so the cycle continues.  Finally, Mom took me home, and our wonderful day ended.

The kiss still tingling on my lips, I went upstairs, and plopped on my bed.  I smiled.

Little did I know that this dream was already becoming a nightmare.