I left the house. I don't know where else to go or who else to call. I have no friends. I have no one else. Kung sa mga pinsan ko naman ay pauuwiin lang nila ako sa bahay. I don't want to see my mom. I just want to be alone and I wanna think for a while.
Hindi ako makapaniwala na ginawa ni Mama iyon sa akin. All the while I thought Eos just left me to be with Lualhati. Now, I can't think. What if he was in love with me like what Adonis have said? Now, paano ko pa maibabalik ang chance na nawala sa aming dalawa?
I sighed. I kept on walking. I was inside a mall. Nakapambahay lang ako. The only cash I have was a thousand peso. Saan ako dadalhin ng pera ko. I paid the taxi earlier with my Cartier bracelet. I have nowhere to go.
I sat on a bench near the fountain. I was looking at the people walking around. Buti pa sila may patutunghan sila. Buti pa sila may kasama sila. Buti pa sila... paano naman ako?
Bahagya akong nagulat nang maramdaman kong may naupo sa tabi ko. I looked at my right and I found Mama. She was wearing a simple purple dress with a bit of lace details on the ends of the hem. She was wearing a pair of her simplest Manolo's. Wala siyang make-up, only bit pink lipstick to bring color to her face. Her eyes were a hit swollen.
At her late fifty's Mama Hera was still one beautiful lady. She exudes beauty and elegance.
"Ma, I wanna be alone. Pati ba naman iyon, hindi pwede?!" I was hissing. Lumungkot ang mga mata ni Mama kaya natahimik ako. I didn't mean to be rude to her butt it's just that I can never accept the fact that she betrayed me.
Ang daming tanong ngayon sa isipan ko. What if hindi siya nakialam, anong nangyari sa amin ni Eos ngayon? What if pa naman ang pinakamahirap sagutin sa buhay ng isang tao.
She deprived me of my own happiness. I was ready to spread my wings and fly away with the man who caught my heart but Mama just had to hold onto me. Ang daya-daya. Nakakainis. Nakakagalit. I wanna hate her so bad. I wanna curse her.
Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit niya ginawa iyon sa akin. Ginawa sa kanya iyon ni Lola Laide noong sila pa ni Papa kaya na-delay ang happy ending nila and now she's doing it to me. I hate her! Of all people, siya pa ang gumawa nito sa akin. She was my best friend and yet...
She broke my heart...
"Anak, please makipag-usap ka sa akin." Mahinahong wika niya. Ngayon ko lang nakita si Mama na ganito kalungkot ang mga mata. She was always saying that she was the queen and she exudes royalty and elegance but now – I realized that I am really her weakness. Sa lahat sa amin ako ang pinaka nakakapanghina sa kanya.
Tumayo ako. "Matigas ang ulo ko, Ma. Kapag ayaw ko ayaw ko. Kakausapin kita kapag gusto ko na. Sa ngayon, gusto kong mapag-isa." I stood up. Tahimik lang si Mama na nakaupo sa bench. Napansin kong luminga-linga siya tapos ay biglang tumayo. She walked away.
"Ma!" I called her. Hinawakan ko siya sa braso. When she turned to me, bigla niya akong itinulak.
"Who are you? Nasaan ako?"
My mouth parted. Tiningnan niya ako mula ulo hanggang paa tapos ay iniwan niya ako. Hind dapat ako ma-bother but her reaction was just something – really. Hindi ko maitindihan. Naisip kong sundan siya but she left already. Ikot naman ako nang ikot. Kinakabahan ako. Bakit siya ganoon? Nang hindi ko na siya makita ay hindi ko na rin naman siya hinanap. Naisip ko kasi na baka umuwi na siya. Maybe she was just running away from the consequences of her actions. I hate her more for that.
