How to Say 사랑해 Out Loud

Chapter 35 (Final)

There's a feeling when you wake from a particularly exceptional dream, a mixture of sadness, loss, and disbelief. Then there are those seconds just prior, when you're awake but still able to hold on to the images from the night, a few seconds of fleeting, too-good-to-be-true happiness.

I have that second feeling as I stand at the end of a red carpet, looking at Sehun.

He is too good to be true, a hallucination that will surely disappear into thin air if I stand here and continue to stare.

Except Sehun doesn't disappear. Sehun starts walking toward me.

I couldn't move, dumbfounded. "What are you doing here?"

He grimaces at my less-than-polite greeting, but I think I see a smile trying to form. "My mistake." Sehun raise an eyebrow. "I was under the impression that I was invited."

"Oh. Um. Right."

I fiddle with my clutch, snapping and unsnapping the clasp.

I am really messing this up.

But it's hard to look at him, as handsome and regal as he looks.

"Anyways, I thought you still might be looking for a date."

At the word date, Sehun coughs once and brings his fists to his mouth to cover it up. I realize he is nervous, which is endearing and sort of unbelievable at the same time. What on earth does he have to be nervous about?

"If not a date . . . well, at least a friend," he corrects himself.

I force myself to make eye contact with him. "You've been really mad at me. I didn't think that had changed."

But Sehun looks away, staring at the space over my shoulder, and shove his hands into the pockets of this tuxedo pants. I can't help but admire his profile, his jawline and the softness of his lips.

"I haven't been mad for a few days now."

Really? What had changed? He hadn't even spoken to me.

"Why not?"

He continues to evade my eyes and squares his jaw. "I saw something that changed my mind. I saw a speech."

I inhale suddenly, with surprise. What?

Had Mrs. Lim made a copy of the DVD? Had she been entirely careless and just left it lying around? Or had she actively made a point of sharing my most private moment with my classmates?

I tighten my grasp on my clutch. "How did you get the DVD?"

Sehun shakes his head, still looking in the distance. "I didn't see any DVD," he answers. Only then does he brings his gaze to mine. "I was there."

My heart stops in my chest. Again . . . what?

I am too shocked to formulate the obvious question.

"I wasn't trying to be nosy," he explains. "But . . . Mrs. Lim printed out your registration form. It was sitting in the printer when I went to pick up Grammar assignment."

His head lowered, his brows knitted together. "I should have asked you before coming, but . . . we weren't exactly on speaking terms. And I just had to see . . . I wanted to know what you would say when you thought people you knew weren't listening."

I'm still a few steps behind him, trying to understand everything he just said. How did I possibly miss Sehun? How had his presence gone unnoticed?

Then I remembered the night of the contest, my stubborness didn't turn around and assess the intimidating crowd and the bright lights that impeded my vision.