How to Say 사랑해 Out Loud

Chapter 34

The next night, at six thirty, I watch through my window as the rented limo pulls up in front of our house. My family is already outside waiting. I let the curtain fall, looking at the clock for the last time, heart heavy, and go outside to join them.

I can't shake the sadness hanging over me, but it's impossible not to smile when I see Sangmoon outside in his tux. Eomma couldn't calm him into letting her comb his hair, and it's standing straight on one side, but he still looks really nice. We had to buy the shirt my mother could cut all the tags out and patch over them, since Sangmoon hates them, but I guess it's worth it. Sangmoon may never go to prom and who knows if he'll ever marry. He may never a tux again, but it's something worth seeing.

When Sangmoon sees me walking toward the sidewalk, he starts jumping right away.

"We must save the princess!" he calls urgently. "We must save the princess!"

His voice is robotic as he quotes a line from one of his video games, but decide to take it as a compliment, anyway. I sort of feel like a princess. The dress totally works once I pair with my mom's lavender sandals, long dangly earrings, and a silver clutch I burrowed from Krystal. When she was over earlier, she arranged my hair into loose waves and cut my shorter with bangs. I barely recognized myself in the mirror when she was finished.

"Smile!" she encouraged me. "You look totally beautiful!"

I managed a halfhearted smile in the mirror, but there was nothing to turn it real. I glanced at my phone a final time, but the little read never appeared. Sehun didn't respond. Sehun isn't coming.

Friday night after my shopping trip with Krystal, I messaged him. Bolstered by Krystal's speech and remembering what my mom had said - "I like brave. It's a good look on you." I sent a short message, not wanting to put him on the spot with a phone call or late-night personal visit. I explained to him that I'd really like a chance to talk and that I would really like to introduce him to my family if he was willing to give me another chance at friendship. In a last-minute burst of courage, I invited him to join us for the ball.

Now the message just seems silly and I wish I'd never sent it.

I looked at my phone all morning, while pretending to do my homework and clean my room. I ran my finger over the screen a million times while Krystal was over helping me get ready. She seemed surprised he hadn't repsonded, but I couldn't be.

"Sehun gave me a lot of chances," I mumbled, straing down at the dark phone on my lap. "I told you, he's done."

Yet I guess I didn't totally believe it, not really, until this very moment. It's six thirty, Sehun has not shown up, and it's time to go. I'm the last person to climb into the limo, my pathetically hopeful eyes sweeping the empty street a final time. His car is not driving down it.

There's a feeling of vastness in my stomach, an ocean of unshed tears. It is only in this moment that I accept the truth of how badly I wanted things to turn differently. And this truth brings an awful sadness I must battle back.

I lower my head, plaster on a smile for my mom, and climb into the car.

Once we're on our way and I know there's no chance of the night turning out differently, I try to forget about the message and my silly fantasies about what could've been. It's kind of fun ridding in a limo, and Sangmoon seems to get a kick out of it. Appa produces a bottle of sparking apple juice and we use the champage glasses from the limo's bar to toast the evening.

At first, when we pull up in front of the restaurant, my heart sinks to the pit of my stomach. I lower the window and take it all in - there's an actual red carpet, the news reporters with microphones and cameras, the cheering, glittering crowd . . . the overall sense of noise, color, and chaos.

Sangmoon's going to go crazy. I know it.

But then a representative from the Happiness Pursuit approaches our car and calmly and quietly explains there is a separate, private red carpet entrance around the block for kids who are shy or have sensory issues. He directs our driver, and a moment later, I feela huge sense of relief as I assess the private entrance. It still boast a red carpet, but there is only a single photographer to capture the arrivals and a much smaller, quieter crowd.

Sangmoon is given his headphones and emerges from the car with little prodding. The crowd on the second red carpet has clearly been instructed not to clap, and instead, the various community members and Happiness Pursuit representatives hold up signs - WE'RE PROUD OF YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS, CHEERS TO YOU!, and ENJOY YOUR SPECIAL NIGHT!

Still, Sangmoon is on the mission to get past the crowd, and despite my mom's instructions for him to slow down and pose for the camera, he continues on his course.

At the last minute, I call his name, and when he turns to me, I pull out my secret weapon. From my clutch, I take out a small cardboard cutout of Pororo, which I stapled to a Popsicle stick. I wave it back and forth in front of my face, knowing it will make a smile.

There it is! I hear the click of the camera in the nick of time, and I smile along with him in satisfaction. My mom deserves one good picture for her memory box, and I'd suspected it would take some preplanning to guarantee that for her.

She looks over her shoulder, blinking back tears as she throws me a grateful smile before chasing after Sangmoon into the ballroom.

Heavy heart aside, I'm feeling pretty good about things as I walk down the red carpet. Sangmoon has successfully entered the Twinkle Ball. My family is in good spirits. I'm wearing a beautiful dress and it's time to party.

But I've taken four steps when I catch a sight of soemthing - someone - just before the entrance that makes me stop walking. It would be easy for him to blend in the background, dresses as he is, like all the other men in the crowd, in a tuxedo.

But to me, it would be impossible for him not to stand out.

He looks more handsome than I've ever seen him - mature, clean-cut, and stunning.

The look on his face is indescribable and his eyes are dark.

Yet he is here.

Sehun is here.

__________________________

Guys, the next chapter is the last chaper of this book! *cries my eyes out*

Wow, thirty-five chapters. I started this book in 2k15, and finishing this book in 2k16.

After all the situations in the book, my poor writing skills, and typos, we all have given me support on this story. Most readers would find books mostly about romance, but you all chose this book instead. Thank you. 

Also I am bad at writing author notes. . . . hehehe . . .

Whelp . . . the next and final update will finally be updated before August 10th.