How to Say 사랑해 Out Loud

Chapter 1

There's a particular kind of energy radiating from school on the first day, part nervous freshman energy, part wild senior energy, and part look-how-I-reinvented-myself-over-the-summer energy. The vibe is the same every year, at any given school, even as the students change, as the timid freshman become bored sophomores and new graduating class takes over. The excitement will, very predictably, dissipate by Friday, but on the Tuesday after Labor Day, the return of students turns the school and parking lot into a bumper car ring with the buzz of frantic activity and socializing.

As I walk toward the front door, Krystal Jung struggles to catch up with me while holding her banana drink steady, her designer shoes hitting the concrete. "Annyeong (Hi), Suzy-ah," she greeted me.

"Annyeong, Krystal. What's up?"

It's only 7:32 a.m., and we haven't even stepped into the building yet. I don't know how or why she already look stressed, but she does. Krystal is sort of perpetually stressed. As are a lot of students at Seoul Performing Arts High School.

As am I a lot of the time, if I'm being honest. Stress is absorbed through osmosis around here.

"Ugh." Krystal shakes her head in disgust. "It took me forever to get my contacts in, so I didn't comb my hair, and I'm having a bad hair day! The convenience store was packed with people, and I almost messed the bus. Which is all really unfortunate because now I'm late, and I look like a hot mess, and I have A.P. Biology first period. I think Kai is in my class, and it would have been really nice to actually feel like I have myself together before walking in there." Finally she remembers to breathe. "How can I be so far behind before the day's even started."

Krystal's anxiety is so potent, I need to take a deep breath of my own.

Krystal is a goddess without even trying to put on makeup, I assess her long, dark chocolate brown locks. "Your hair look gorgeous. You look gorgeous. We still have twenty-two minutes before the homeroom bell ring. And I thought things were getting better with Kai?"

She'd had rough summer as she tried to move on from their dramatric breakup in June.

"They are. It's just hard being back at school." She frowns. "Makes me feel like things should go back to the way they were last year. Plus, I don't really feel like haering him join in on all that convo where the guys rate the hottest freshman girls, you know?"

"Well, I think you're one of the hottest junior girls." I smile and pull a strand of hair out of her face. "He's going to see you and regret everything."

"Everything" being the girl from Incheon Art School he hooked up with behind Krystal's back.

Krystal stopped and looked at me, biting her lip. "Really? You think he'll even notice?"

I take a final deep breath as we approach the front door. It's only 7:33 and already I'm tired. "Positive."

We push into the crowd and are swept up in the tide of students moving through the lobby. Im Yoona, senior cocaptain of the field hockey girls team, ran past us, sending us a reminder over her shoulder. "Practice starts on time today, ladies. No first day excuses."

I nod, even though I lack Yoona's zeal for competitive team sports. But I need some kind of althetic activity to pass my credits to finish college and I'm a decent midfielder, so hockey it is.

A group of students from the Musical Club are already disassembling their instruments after what must have been a very early morning rehearsal. As we move through the shifting crowd, which emits loud noises and sweaty energy, I notice a serious-looking student leaning against the wall and pushing his glasses up his nose as he reads an A.P. Physics textbook, one over-achiever of many. We haven't even been to homeroom yet.