When Bae Suzy's autistic brother comes to her private school, she's determined not to let anyone know they're related. Even if that means losing contact to all her closest friends, including the charming football player Oh Sehun. But she just couldn...
It's my worst game of the season. My body felt sluggish and clumsy, maybe because my mind is too distracted to effectively coordinate quick and accurate movement. I trip over my feet and let the ball get stolen from me. Coach calls for a subsitute in the first half of the game, which is something I'm not used to, and I hang my head in shame as I exit the field.
In contrast to my awful performance, Jiyoung's is outgoing. She's on fire on offense, and scores three goals in the same amount of time ot takes me to get pulled from the game. Our tense, awkward exchange on the bus seems to have fueled her and depleted me in equal amounts. Which really isn't fair.
I spend most of the game sitting on the bench and feeling down. It's a cold late-fall afternoon, and after working up a sweat when I'm actually in the game, my clothes are damp and leave me cold. I bend over, trying to warm my hands in the flimsy material of my plaid kit. I leave them twisted in the material to keep from biting my nails and revealing the frazzled state of my nerves.
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I don't even know what to worry about first. I feel my eyes filling up with tears, I can't really blame the tears on the sudden wind that is whipping across the open field. I wipe them away before anyone can see because it's not an option to sit here and cry in front of Jiyoung.
The second half passes, Jiyoung secures the victory for our team, and the excited of them seems really elated as we head back to the bus. I linger near the back of the group and soon realize that one other person seems prettty miserable right along with me. Krystal.
Not that she's talking to me, or even looking at me.
When we board the bus, Krystal chooses a different seat from the one we shared in the ride here, near the younger players in the front. I'm eager to stay as far away from Jiyoung as possible, but I suspect something else is motivating Krystal's relocation.
She spreads her belongings across the seat - clearly she's not looking for company - but I squeeze myself onto the edge of the seat anyway, my hockey stick bumping my knees every time someone tries to pass us. Krystal continues to ignore me, staring gloomily at the back of the vinyl seat in front of us unitl the engine roars to life and the full bus drives forward.
I wait until we are on the highway, and then I turn toward her and put my hand on her forearm. "Krys?"
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She twists away and fold her arms over her chest. She still won't look at me. "Is this the real reason why we never hang out at your house? All the other reasons you've said, were they all just lies?"
I take in a deep breath, thinking before I answer. "Yes and no." I stare down at my lap and start mumbling. "But, yeah, it's really hard to have people over when Sangmoon there."
The words sound silly coming out, because it's really not different to have Sangmoon when he's at home. If he has his headphones on and his tablet is powered, he's happy and calm.
Krystal finally looks at me, her eyes hard. "So no one else knew? Not Sulli? Not Sehun? How could you honestly keep this secret for so long?"
I ignore her final question, which is harder to answer. "No one else knew either, Krystal."
She tries to give off a careless shrug, but it came out weird. "So I'm no different from anyone else? Guess I'm just one more person who didn't know. Guess I shouldn't feel awful then."
"You really shouldn't," I insist. "It wasn't personal. It's about my family, not anybody else."
Krystal stares out the window, away from me, but her words still stings. "Well, I'm sorry, Suzy, but it feels pretty personal. I get why you didn't tell Jiyoung, or random people. I get why you didn't stand up on the first day of school and announce that Sangmoon was your brother. I know how things work around here, and I don't blame you for that."
She turns around to face me, and just when I think I can't possibly feel any worse today, I notice the glassy coat of tears in her eyes. "But this is something you could've told me, something you should have told me. You either have no trust in me or you don't have no value in our friendship."
"You don't know how much I just wanted a normal life," I whisper desperately. "You don't know how much I wish it was easier for me to tell someone." I stare sadly at the plaid material of my kilt, and my throat tightens. "I just really didn't want people to see me differently. When I was little -"
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"That's stupid." She spits out, interrupting me, shaking her head like I'm a stranger. "Sangmoon being your brother wouldn't have made me see you any different. But I sure see you differently now."
She pulls out her phone and put on earbuds into her ears, ending our conversation.
Hello~ Like I promised a few days ago, I updated!
I finished school and summer vacation is starting! I probably have time to write a few more chapters. I'm probably going to be busy due to camps, trips, and college tours. But whenever I have time, I promise to finish this story! <3
