My Youtube Life (#Wattys2014)

Chapter Twenty Three: Homesick

A/N Hey guys! This update is leading up to an important part in this book so hope you like it! <3 



   



      Homesickness is what made me depressed these next few months along on the tour. I missed home more than I could imagine but I had no choice but to stay on tour until the end of this Hell. It's not like I don't like being with the boys on tour, it's just I miss my best friends, I love them, and I wanted to go home.



    These past few months I've been a miserable, emotionless, pregnant train wreck that could barely form one sentence correctly. The boys were worried about me, always asking if I was alright. Harry even asked me if I needed therapy, which I declined. I didn't need therapy, I needed Dan and Phil. They were constantly on my mind. I saw their faces on billboards, magazines, in my dreams, but I knew it was just hallucinating from homesickness. I saw them everywhere and when I did, I'd just break down crying or run to the bathroom and puke up my emotions. On top of that I was pregnant so I was puking no matter what. I had cravings all the time, and sometimes I'd crave to be in Dan and Phil's comforting arms, laying on the couch with them while I kicked their asses at Mario Cart. 


     I missed my morning talks over coffee with Phil, and the way he'd always eat his favorite cereal along with it. I missed watching cooking shows on T.V in the evenings with them after a long day of making videos or on the internet all the time. I missed how when I had a nightmare, Dan would always let me sleep with him and I wouldn't hesitate to jump in, finally finding sleep. I missed the way I'd sing in the shower at the top of my lungs just to piss off the boys but instead, they'd start singing along (most of the time it was Good Morning Sunshine we sang). I missed the way Jack and Finn would come over just to play Zombie Apocalypse with Dan, Phil, and I. I missed the way Dan would always sit on the couch with me, drinking tea with a Maltesers packet. I missed the way we'd sit around all day in onesies like little kids. I missed the way Phil would always come in and jump on top of Dan and I in the mornings. I missed the deep talks about my past with them and how they'd always listen, comforting me in every way. And most of all, I missed them. 


      I was sobbing in my bunk on the tour bus, just wishing to go home and see them again, but that's when my emotions were about to come up my throat again. Quickly, I rushed to the bathroom and puked up some of my homesickness. A light knock came on the door. 


   "Freckles? Are you ok?" Louis' voice asked through the door. 


     "F-fine." I said on the verge of tears again. 

 
  The door slowly opened, and in walked Louis with a box of chocolates, 7up, and a card? What is the card for? He wiped my eyes with his thumb and sat next to me on the floor of the bathroom, apparently not caring that it still smelled of vomit. 


    "The 7up is from me but the chocolates and card came in the mail for you this morning.." Louis tells me, handing them to me. I nod and sniffle before opening the chocolates and popping one in my mouth and taking a swig of the 7up. Slowly I take the card, flipping it over to see that my name is scribbled on the back.  I rip it open and pull out a card with a llama with googly eyes on it. Dan. 


    I open up the card and begin to read the huge letter in the card. 


  'Dear Bail's, 

 
         I want you to know that we miss you so much and we both can't stop thinking about you. We know you only have a few months left of the tour, but will you please come home? We can't wait any longer. It's been forever since we've seen you and it's literally driving me mad. Phil and Piper are still going strong in their relationship and I've never seen him happier with a girl before. He misses you a lot too, though. I can't help but notice that something is missing in him. Something is missing in me too, and that's you. For Phil too. He told me that he feels an empty part of him when your gone and I could not agree with him more. We missed Halloween and Thanksgiving together...I was a vampire. Or as I like to call it a Danpire! Lol! Phil was a zombie giraffe. I have no bloody clue how he came up with that but you know, he's Phil. How was your Halloween? Do anything special with your boyband? Thanksgiving we had Charlie, Chris, and PJ over. PJ was dying to meet you and Charlie and Chris miss you a lot! Charlie says he wants you for something in his next video coming up for Christmas. I know the tour doesn't end til April but I can't live properly without you here! It's like a huge gap is in my heart and the house is a lot quieter without you! So I ask you again...Bail's please come home. We love you. 


 
                                                                                                      Xx Dan and Phil' 



 
           I read the letter about ten times over and cried and cried. They missed me too. They couldn't stop thinking about me either. I missed them so much that it hurt. Louis wrapped me in a hug, and I cried into his shoulder. Everything was just so emotional. I laughed and cried at the letter, I haven't laughed in months. My sobs came out louder, though. Louis hugging me tightly to his chest. 


    "Is she ok?" Niall comes in and asks, his voice almost cracking. I sob even harder. You know that God awful feeling when someone asks if your ok when your crying and you just break down even more than before? Yeah that's what just happened to me. 


     I needed Dan and Phil bad, and I needed them now. 


        "Niall go talk to Simon, I think we need to get her off this tour. Like now." Louis answers my prayers. Niall quickly exits the bathroom and rushes to the front of the bus, dialing Simon's number. 


                                                          ********************************

                    "What did he say?" I hear Louis whisper. I peek my eye open and notice I'm in Louis' bottom bunk, laying on his chest. Niall is standing, bent over talking to Louis quietly because they think I'm asleep. I must've fell asleep in the bathroom and Louis carried me here. 


         "He said when we get to Ireland, which is in a few days, he'll get her a plane ticket to fly back to London. But are you sure she wants to go home now? She's like what...4 months pregnant now and your just going to let her go? Or are you going to have her wait til the baby is born? She'll have a lot to face when she gets back to Dan and Phil.." Niall sounds uneasy. 


      "I'm not going to hold her captive in a tour bus while she's miserable, homesick, and pregnant, Niall! I'll let her decide in the morning but until then, let her sleep, mate." Louis speaks up for me. He really is becoming a good boyfriend but, the thing is, I don't want a boyfriend, I want my two best friends. 


    "Ok, chill Lou. I was just saying." Niall mutters and I hear him walk out of the room. I close my eyes again and fall back into a dreamless sleep. 



      
           "Bailey? Bailey..you need to wake up, love. I need to talk to you." Louis' sweet accent rings through my ears. I flutter my eyes open and see his beautiful eyes. 



    "What do we need to talk about?" I say yawning. 


       "Well, you've been...homesick lately and we were wondering how you'd feel about going home in a few days?" Louis asks me. My eyes shoot open. Now that woke me up. 


   "ARE YOU SERIOUS!? I CAN GO HOME!?" I hang my mouth open in excitement. 


     "Yeah. Simon is willing to get you a plane ticket from Ireland to London. We're arriving in Ireland in a few days. Probably two if we're lucky about traffic." Louis explains and out of excitement I give him a big smooch on the lips and start to prance around the room. I skip around the tour bus, jumping on Harry who passed out on the couch and shoving some of Niall's bacon into my face and squealing in the bus drivers ear. I get to go home! Finally! But wait, the baby. What am I supposed to do about the baby?! 


     You'll have to tell Dan and Phil you idiot! My subconscious reminds me. I really hate her right now. I know I need to tell them but, I don't have the guts to do it! They'll only get mad at me, not talk to me, think I'm a slut, and kick me out of the house for good. And I can't lose them. Then an idea sparked in me... 


       "Louis, can we go to the store? I need to get something." I ask him. He nods his head and tells the bus driver to stop at the next store.