Life's Not A Doughnut

Chapter 4 ~ After

Liz had confirmed the days she would be running the lessons with the children down at the beach. Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays from ten until three. The hours suit me just fine as I am home alone during the week while Mum is at work anyway.

Today, however, is a Friday. I have now almost been back a week and have managed to stay out of everyone's way as much as possible. So now, I thought, it was time I go see an old friend.

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The tiny bell rings as I open the shop door. I was fond of this little jewellery store where Rose worked. They beaded a lot of their own stuff to sell, mainly beach and ocean themed colours for obvious reasons.

I wander around for a bit, admiring some of the new necklaces and twisting some beautiful scarves between my fingers.

"Nora?"

I spin on my heel to see Rose standing behind the counter. I half expect her to hug me, the other half expecting her to slap me. She does neither.

"Hey, Rose." I smile and walk over to her.

"You're back?" She pulls the same expression Mia did when she saw me at the fuel station.

"Temporarily. I couldn't spend all summer in my dorm room now could I?" I try to keep the conversation light.

"Guess not." She huffs. "Did you want something?"

Rose was never one for idle small talk, she liked to get straight to the point.

"I guess I just wanted to see how you were doing?"

"I'm fine."

"How's your therapy going?"

"It's not. I finished two months ago."

"Oh," I falter, "I'm glad to hear that."

"Listen, Nora," she places her hands on the counter, "I don't know what you are trying to do, but coming in here now and pretending to care after what you did to me isn't going to undo what has been done." She doesn't raise her voice and her lip doesn't quiver. She is steady, calm, and in control. Something I've always admired about her. Something I wish I could do.

"I do care about you, Rose. You know why I left-"

"I was there for you. We were going to make it out of this shit hole together, you promised me."

"I know but I-"

"You can't take it back, Nora. It's done."

"I've missed you so much you have no idea how hard it's been-"

"Oh don't fucking give me that bullshit. You think it was hard for you!? What about me, Nors? Huh? What you did was so bloody selfish. You knew how bad I was and still you left me." She was losing her collected demeanour, something that barely ever happened.

"Rose I'm sorry, ok? I'm so so sorry about everything. I've messed up a million times and made so many mistakes but leaving you was one of the biggest. I wanted to message you and return your calls, I did, but god at the time all I wanted to do was forget everything about this place."

She sighs and reaches up to tighten her neat pony tail. Another girl appears around the corner from the back store room. She looks at us both and furrows her perfectly shaped eyebrows.

"Everything alright, Rosie?"

My ears burn at the use of my once best friends nickname.

"It's fine. This is Nora Baxter." Rose doesn't take her eyes off of me.

"Hi, I'm Annie. Are you guys friends or something?" The girl smiles cheerfully at me.

"Used to be." Rose replies before I can.

"Is this a reunion then? Old friends rekindling their friendship?" Annie can't stand still and won't stop merrily grinning.

I'm not sure if I love her or hate her.

"I just came to apologise to Rose, actually. I hope she can find it in her heart to forgive me, because my summer will sure be dull without her." I say to Annie while keeping eye contact with my old friend.

"Oh, well Rose is a good person, I'm sure she will come around." Annie smirks and pats Rose on the back kindly.

I leave the shop and walk down the sidewalk to the nearest park bench. I rest my face in my palms and resist the urge to cry. I thought I could move past all this mess I've made, all those bridges I burnt, all the pain I've caused.

What choice did I have but to move away? After everyone found out, my world burnt to ash around me. There was nothing left for me. I had committed the highest sin, and as a result, I lost the people I once called family.

"You ok?"

My heart skips a beat, then I look up. Will.

"Um, yeah. I'm fine." I anxiously scratch my arm.

I notice he looks better than when I saw him last. Of course he does, it's been six months.

After realising I'm not actually crying, he begins to walk away towards his motorbike so I jump up and quickly follow him.

"Will wait." I jog to get beside him.

"I don't have anything to say to you." He pulls out his gloves and starts putting them on.

"Look I'm only back for the summer and I get that you hate me still and everything but-"

"I never hated you, Nora." He slides on his helmet and swings a leg over his bike seat.

"You can't avoid me all summer!" I shout over the roar of the engine, "I already said I was sorry a million times before I left, now it's your turn to forgive me!" 

He turns his head facing forward then takes off down the Main Street. I sigh.

"Tough break."

I spin around and realise I'm back in front of the jewellery shop. Rose is leaning against the door, a brightly coloured beach bag over her shoulder. I watch her, waiting for her to make the next move.

"I've just finished my shift. Do you want to go get a coffee?"

"But didn't you say-"

"I thought about what you said, ok? I guess I've just been thinking about how much you hurt me instead of seeing it from your point of view. I've missed you too, you know."

I smile, "You still drinking that caramel coffee shit?"

"It is not shit! Have you ever even tried it?" We walk side by side towards the cafe which is located along the foreshore.

I watch Rose blabber on and can't stop thinking about how much I've missed having someone to talk with about anything and everything. She was my rock as much as I was hers, until I screwed it all up by leaving her here when she needed me most. And I didn't realise it until later, but I needed her then too.

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