Life's Not A Doughnut

Chapter 2 ~ After

I had unpacked all my clothes, organised my wardrobe and entire room, sorted the work on my hard-drive into alphabetised folders, tidied all of the kitchen cupboards and mowed the lawn in the backyard.

Now I was bored, unable to think of anything else to busy myself with that didn't involve going out in public.

The response I got from Mia when I saw her yesterday has confused me. We weren't exactly fighting when I left, but we weren't friends either. So her being so...um...not hostile has thrown me off and made me think that maybe Will doesn't think I'm the worst living thing on this planet right now either.

"Sweetie?" Mum wanders into the living room where I am sat on the floor, sorting through our dvd's, making sure the right discs are in the right cases. "What are you up to?"

"Hiding from life, you?"

"I'm about to do my yoga, do you want to join me?"

"I'm as fat as a pig right now, I doubt I could even touch my knees."

"You exaggerate. But if you are concerned about your weight, you should go on that natural diet I went on, it's fantastic."

Sometimes I wonder if my mum is actually my mum, or a woman trying to be my unpaid life coach.

"No thanks, I like chocolate too much."

"Well, think about it." She says while starting to walk away. "Why don't you go to the beach? Get some fresh air!" She calls back to me as she heads off down the hallway.

I pause what I'm doing and consider it. I haven't been for a swim in so long and am craving the feel of sand beneath my feet.

Screw it. I'm going.

+++++

I made sure to wear a thin loose top over my swimsuit and board shorts on my bottom half. There was no way I was going to the beach in a revealing bikini while my body was in this shape.

I slide my thongs off my feet and hold them in my hand. I step off the pavement and into the sand, squishing it therapeutically through my toes. With my eyes closed, I let the sea breeze brush over my skin and twist through my hair. The strong ocean smell fills my nostrils, making me feel homesick deep in my heart.

I drop my beach bag and towel on the sand and scan around, making sure no one I know is nearby. As I'm laying out my towel and taking my top off, the squeal of a child catches my attention.

I look a bit further down the beach to see a whole group of them, running wildly and chasing circles around an older woman. She tries to control them and organise some form of order, but they clearly aren't listening.

I head down to the edge of the water and wade out into the shallows, the cold fluid refreshing on my heated skin. I feel a sting on my calf from the salt hitting the spot where I cut myself shaving. When the water is lapping against my stomach, I take my feet off the ocean floor and float.

I let the water wobble me around and feel the warm summer sun on the top of my head. I then lean forward and start doing freestyle stroke, striding one arm out of the water followed then by the other like the pedals on a bike. I lap backwards and forwards, not swimming to anywhere in particular.

When I became exhausted I let the waves move me slowly back into the shallows. If it had of been six months ago, I could have swam for hours if I wanted to. But today, I had only been out doing laps for a mere twenty minutes before my arms fell limp under the force of the water.