Social Casualties (5 seconds of summer fanfic)

Chapter 13 - A Few Little Confessions

It's been three days since I did a runner from school, all I have been doing is watching back to back glee and eating my own weight in food, exciting I know. I haven't left this hotel since I booked into it and to be honest the frame of mind I'm in right now, I never want to leave it. I kept my promise and rung my mum every night however it always ended the same, her shouting at me and me hanging up. I know she is worried but she needs to realise I'm not coping well with this change, for some reason people hate me and to be honest it kills me knowing this is like my old school all over again. I know I sound dramatic but when you have been an outsider all your life then think you have a chance of fitting in, when reality comes crashing down it shakes a person up badly.

I know I have to go back home and back to school but for now I'm going to pretend that none of that exists. Ah! I just remembered I bought Flo's diary, maybe that will keep me entertained for a little while.

I roll out of bed and walk over to my bag where all my stuff is and rummage about until I finally find the diary. Ah ha gotcha! I run over and hop back in bed and begin to read another entry, it seems to be a little while later then the first few entries:

Saturday August 20th 2013
Dear  Diary,
Ugh he's late again! Pepper told me that he was going to meet me at my house and we were going to go to the cinema however since he started getting popular he doesn't have as much time for me, sometimes I feel worthless and like a burden. Pepper always told me that he would never let me down, but that's all he seems to be doing lately. If he was anyone else I would have told them where to go by now but Pepper is different. Not only have we been friends FOREVER but I also may have a teeny weeny minuscule crush on him (I swear to god if anyone read this I hope they don't know who I am that would be very embarrassing)!

One day I hope he feels the way I do about him about me, people say to me that he looks at me like he would take a bullet for me but I don't see it. Anyway I'm going to go and drown my sorrows in chocolate, update you soon since your the only one who listens to me lately.
Love Flo XoXo

Damn this girl sounds like she has a serious crush on this Pepper dude. I decide to read a few more entries and all they say is about her crush on Pepper and how annoying her brother Johnny is. Apparently Flo loved performing arts too, looks like we have a few things in common. However a few entries later and one caught my eye.

Tuesday 15th of January 2014
Dear Diary,
He kissed me! He actually kissed me holy crap I'm dying on the inside! After all this time Pepper finally did it, we were at the park talking about everything and anything when all of a sudden he got really serious and asked me if I like anyone. I said yes and he got all quiet so I asked him the same question back and he literally grabbed my face and kissed me! I am in heaven, this can't be real, ahhhhh I'm so happy! Straight after the kiss he asked me on a date to the cinema, obviously I said yes and he walked me home.
I only have one problem though diary, what if he thinks I'm a bad kisser?! For all I know I might have fish lips and kiss like a washing machine! UGHH the struggles are so real, never mind I'm going on my date soon so I will let you know how it goes.
Talk soon,
Love,
Flo XoXo

Awwwww it finally happened he kissed her! I remember my first kiss, I was at a party and I was probably only about 13. It was the typical peer pressure thing so a group of us played spin the bottle and hey presto I kissed a guy, romantic I know. This Pepper guy sounds kinda cute, since Flo would be about my age by now maybe I might meet her one day, I could finally find out who pepper is!

Well it's 3:27pm and I'm still in bed I might take a trip outside just to get some fresh air before I shrivel up into a prune. I get out of bed and have a quick wash then get changed into some black denim shorts, a black and read flannel with a black tank top underneath. I then pair the outfit together by wearing a black beanie since my hair looks like a birds nest and some black converse. I grab my bag, purse, hotel key and phone and make my way out of my hotel room.

I walk down the hallway and finally reach the elevator, as soon as I pressed the button the doors dinged open and I stepped in. Once the lift reaches the ground floor I step out and start my journey to the huge park across the road. Finally after I reach the park I sit down on a park bench. People watching is a hobby of mine that I like to do when I'm alone and bored so that's what I decide to do. After about 20 minutes of watching people and seeing some very cute dogs I notice four guys in the distance walking on the path towards where I'm sat. At first i didn't really care and went on my phone but as they started getting closer I noticed whose voices  they were. It was Luke, Ashton, Calum and Michael! Two words, oh shit!

I was about to make a dash for it but then I heard someone say not so subtly:
"Holy shit is that Lola"
No it's Voldemort, of course it's me you dumbass I wanted to say! As soon as I heard that I grabbed my bag and started to walk off. I soon heard yells of them shouting 'stop' and 'wait up' I took that as my que to run.

I finally reached the hotel and the lady behind the counter asked if I was okay but I carried on running until I reached the lift. When it dinged open I stepped inside I started to recover from my run which felt like a freaking marathon.

Three days ago they all hated me and called me a slut, now they want to be best buds again. Pfff I don't bloody think so, call me what you bloody want but I draw the line at being called a slut. I remember when Alex got annoyed once when he was drunk and because I didn't want to sleep with him he called me a slut, which is kind of ironic since a slut is someone who sleeps about with anything with a pulse. Anyway since that day whenever anyone has called me anything along the lines of a slut I get really mad and basically have to stop myself from attacking the person. Between us, yes me and Alex have had sex before however we had been going out a long time so it wasn't like it was a rushed or pressured thing. It was actually really romantic, it was our one year anniversary and he booked us a romantic weekend getaway and it just kind of happened, I'm not going to go into any details but can I just say DAYUM! Alex maybe an asshole but he knows how to make someone feel like the most important person in the world when he wants to, anyway back to reality.

Once I walk into my hotel room I decide to get ready for bed and order room service. I change into pyjama shorts and a baggy top, I decide to order lasagna and a nice big bottle of wine. Now I know your all thinking why is she drinking alcohol I swear she is trying to get her life back on track, and my answer to that is sometimes people need a little something to bring them back to life and alcohol maybe my worst enemy but it can also be my best friend, tonight it is my friend.

30 minutes later

My room service arrived about 10 minutes ago and I lost my appetite for some reason which is strange for me considering food is basically my life. Instead I decide to drink my wine whilst singing along to glee, what a cheerful life I know, note my sarcasm.

Time passes quickly and before I know it my bottle of wine is empty and I'm sprawled across my bed in a drunken mess. Ughhhhhhh the thought of school and seeing my parents tomorrow is enough to send me into a nervous breakdown. Meh I will deal with that tomorrow, that reminds me of the song! Tomorrow tomorrow I love my tomorrow, Jesus I need to get a life! I finally get enough strength to crawl under my bed covers and slowly drift into a sleep whilst my head is spinning like a Ferris wheel and the thoughts of tomorrow haunt me.

Hey hey hey my lovely armadillos!
First of  all I'm sorry! I have not posted in forever and I am truly sorry, I have had exams and few issues at school to deal with but I'm back bitches and better then ever! I have just left school so that means I'm on summer holidays and do you know what that means hmmmmmm, it means I have more time to update things! I also have a little secret to tell you all... I have been planning and drafting a few chapters for a new book I'm writing! I am really pleased with how it's going and I hope you guys will like it too! It's a teen fiction but I haven't uploaded it yet, I've decided to write a few chapters for it in advance so I don't forget to update like I did on this book! Once again I'm sorry for leaving you all stranded, I will be updating more often and thank you to readers that have been patient and are still with me. I hope this chapter is okay, any suggestions and feedback is great to hear!
Well until the next chapter,
Bye!
Love Erin XoXo❤️