Real Life

24.

Two weeks of the silent treatment from Matthew and I can't cope with it

I walk around and he lays there silently and nobody comes over anymore to hang out we haven't had a girl's day on Sunday since the accident or a guy's night Friday either or Saturday brunches and Monday dinners I miss it

" Matthew get up " I said throwing a pillow at him " leave me alone " he croaks he's been crying

" must be nice ya know to lay around and cry like aittle bitch " I said he jumped up and surprised me

" don't sit there and feel sorry for yourself " he said " why you've been doing it " I said " I'm mourning " he said " What about me huh , I don't get to mourn because I'm to busy taking care of a child " I said

" we'd be taking care of a real one if didn't have to kill it " he said I lashed out " NO YOU KILLED THE DAMN FEDUS " I yelled " STOP CALLING IT A FETUS WHEN IT'S A BABY SAY IT SAY BABY " he yelled " GET OUT OF MY FACE " I yelled

" I CANT DEAL WITH YOU ANYMORE " he yelled

" THEN LEAVE " I yelled " NO IM NOT LEAVING BECAUSE I WANNA MAKE THIS WORK BECAUSE I LOVE YOU " he yelled " MATTHEW NOTHING IS RIGHT WITH US , I LOVE YOU BUT THIS ISNT WORKING " I yelled

" let's make it work " he said I looked down " I don't think it will " I said " THEN FUCK KARMA LET'S BREAK UP " he yelled

" Maybe we should " I said wearily

" are you serious " he said " I love you so much Matthew but this isn't working out I'm a sorry , I love you " I said " no you know whatever I'm out " he said getting up and walking out and that time I didnt cry

×

After a couple hours later I gave up calling his cell i left one more message " matthew daddario i love you and i need you , i didnt mesn to break up with you , i love you come home please baby come home " no answer so I decided to take a nap

×

Hours later

I woken up by knocking at my door " I'm coming " I yelled opening the door there was two police officers standing there " is the home of Matthew daddario " they asked

" oh god do I need to bail him out again , I'm so so so sorry , is he drunk again let me grab my shoes " I rambled on but one stopped me " miss " he said " what " I said knitting my eyebrows together

" there was an accident I'm so sorry to tell you that Matthew was hit by an in going car , the test result he was intoxicated and I'm so sorry for your loss " he said

I opened my mouth to say something but the only thing that came out was a high pitch scream

Matthew couldn't be dead I was just with him a couple hours ago I just was holding him , yelling at him , telling him I loved him , breaking up with him

This couldn't be the end 28 is young

" ma'ma " one cop said

" I can't breathe " I said then the room went black

×

When I woke up one cop was sitting by my bed asleep I moved a little and he bottled awake " hey your okay " he said " is he here can I see him " I said trying to pull the iv out of my arm " miss he passed " he started " I know I want to see his body " I said " I need to know it's true " I said something pinged in me hoping it wasn't him they just got a mix up

He nodded and helped me into the wheel chair as we walked down the long hallways my anxiety rose

We got to two big heavy doors MOURGE was written really faintly and bold on them when we walked in it smelled like lavender not like old dying people

He walked over to one of the head doctor's in there and asked them for Matthew's body he nodded and walked me over to the table

He went to lift the sheet but I grabbed his hand this was it

This was going to make or break my whole life and it was covered by this small thin sheet " let me " I said

The sheet was cool and soft something you would wrap your self in not have a corpse under

I lifted the sheet ever so lightly and I could see black hair my heart was in my throat

Then I drew it back across his face

A loud sob escaped my mouth and throat it hurt my heart was now a in my stomach

I couldn't breathe the cop grabbed me as I fell to the floor I sat there sobbing