Real Life

9.

The next couple days were of Matthew taking care of me mainly buying me stuff from pads to chocolate he was great once I explained to him how to take care of me

I had my maid of honor dress picked out already and Julia and Alexis dressed war picked out I still haven't asked Matthew to go with me I was so nervous to I mean it was across country I texted Julia asking if we could bring Dom , Kat , Sarah , Alberto,  and Em. She said yes of course

I decided to tell him later that day we went and met up with Kat and dom to go out to eat I made sure Kat and Dom didn't bring up with wedding I grabbed Matthews hand and squeezed it but he didn't squeeze back like he normally does I got scared we all sat down and talked and ate and stuff " so can I have any spoilers for season two " I asked taking a bite of my burger dom stole some fries from my plate " nope got to wait until January " Kat said " ugh that's like 8 months away " I said sipping my tea Kat just laughed we all took pictures but Matthew was stil being so quite he barely ate anything he was so into his thoughts we walked Kat and dom half way and did a turn to my apartment when we got inside I decided to bring up the wedding

" Matthew can we talk " I asked my hands were sweating he sat down in front of me " so you know about the wedding and stuff and how its in Europe and I can bring a plus one and I wanted to know if you wanted to come " I asked he was quite " dom and them can come to " I said " yeah sure I'll go " he said dull like " did I do something wrong " I asked " I should go " he said I was breaking inside " Matthew " I said " I'll talk to you later " he said walking out I closed my eyes my nose started to burn I sat down and took a deep breathe I have never cried over someone so much seven months into whatever we were in and I have cried so much

I covered my legs up and pulled out city of heavenly fire out and started reading it but I couldn't focus I rubbed my hands over my face and threw the book in anger I grabbed my phone and called Matthew

No answer another time no answer my anxiety started going crazy my mind kept telling me it was over he was never coming back I ran and locked the door and texted him

K: don't come over the door is locked and I'm not letting you in

I looked at the door for a long time and then sighed in defeat and unlocked the door I sat my phone down and decided to cook something I started cooking me some biscuits and gravy after I was finished cooking I sat down and started digging in after I was done it was already passed 8 wow time flies I done the dishes and cleaned the apartment a little and once I was done it was now 9:30 I grabbed a small basket and threw some laundry in it and decided to do some laundry down stairs I walked down the long hallway pulling my basket and putting them in the washer I turned to walk to my apartment when i seen Gerald standing in the door way " hi " I said  after I jumped he was quite I walked up to him trying to get passed him but he grabbed my arm and kissed me hard pushing me against the concrete wall my head hit it hard

I pushed him away " what the hell  " I said " I was thinking since you and Matthew broke up we could go out " he said " me and Matthew didnt break up " I said " then why is all of his stuff out of your apartment " he said I looked generally confused and then took off running up the steps I seen two baskets full of Matthew's clothes sitting outside the door but then it hit me and I almost busted out laughing I had out them here for laundry I shook my head and sat my timer for my clothes I walked inside my apartment and pulled his clothes out I grabbed cheezeit's and sat down i had a missed call from Matthew I played the voicemail

M : sorry for acting weird today I'll be over soon to talk to you bye

I ended the voicemail and deleted it no sooner than I deleted Matthew walked in

He still had that tension he sat down away from me " so what's up " I said trying to play off my crippling anxiety he just looked at me are eyes connected and I couldn't look away " I have been fighting myself to say this all day but I was so scared how you would react " he rambled on oh god he was breaking up with me " karma " he said moving close to me " i love you " he said my heart stopped and i felt tingly inside I didn't say it back I wish I would have but all I did was connect our lips