Initials

Initials {27}

I sat in my room all alone.

                I looked down at the scars on my wrists. And the cuts. The brand new cuts. Sam refused to look at me or talk to me. She had been hanging out with Brad nonstop.

                There was a knock on the door and dad opened my door. “Get in the living room,” he said, looking distracted. I made my way into the living room as he answered the door. A minute later, he appeared with my grandpa.

                My grandpa was 76 and had cruel eyes. My dad looked a ton like him. My grandma had died of cancer when my dad was a teenager. Grandpa’s eyes landed on me. “Eli,” he said flatly, nodding at me.

                “Hi grandpa,” I said politely. Why was he here? He and my dad hated each other. Even now, my grandpa was glaring at my dad.

                “Are you raising him right?” he asked, glancing at me. I never knew if my grandpa liked me or not. My dad nodded. “Of course I’m raising him right.” My grandpa faced me. “Is he raising you right Eli?” he asked suspiciously. Dad’s eyes flared in hatred as he glared at me. “Yes sir,” I said with a nod and mentally punched myself.

                Grandpa glared at my dad. “Eli, go get me a beer,” he said, not looking at me. I got up and went in the kitchen, listening hard to hear them.

                “You little shit! You’re not raising him right! Sir?! I bet you hit him too, don’t you? You just can’t do anything right, can you?!” grandpa cried angrily. I froze.

                You little shit.

                I risked a glance and watched as my grandfather’s fist caught my dad in the jaw. My dad glared at him in hate. “You will not come in my house and do this to me again!” he hissed. Again? “I raised you. I’ll treat you however I damn well please,” grandpa spat.

                I grabbed the beer out of the fridge and entered the living room. “Here you go s- grandpa,” I said and handed it to him. “Thank you,” he grunted and began to drink it.

                “I’m leaving. I just came to check on how you were raising the boy. I can’t stand the sight of you. Just remember, it’s a chain,” grandpa hissed. He stormed out of the house and dad rounded on me. “I’ll kick your ass!” he boomed. He raised his hand and then paused.

                He sighed and ruffled my hair. “It’s a chain,” he whispered. “My father’s father, my father, me, and now you.” His fist shot out and caught me in the chest. I coughed and staggered back. “Get out. Go somewhere else,” he growled.

                He grabbed me and threw me out of the house before slamming the door and locking it. I slowly got up and made my way down the street. I had nowhere to go. I was left alone with my thoughts.

                A chain…A chain of violent abuse. I suddenly felt overwhelmed. I couldn’t stop it. I had proven that by beating Sonny and punching Sam.

                I was just as violent as my bastard of a father.

                I would abuse people around me. If I ever had kids, I would abuse them too. Just because I was angry. Just because I was jealous. I felt it. I was jealous of everyone who had caring parents.

                Was that it? Was my dad jealous that I had my mom? Was he jealous that I had taken some of her love away from him? Did he not want to see his son happier than him?

                I sighed deeply and decided to make my way to Tim’s restaurant. Maybe he would give me free food. I was absolutely starving.

                I entered the restaurant and he came up to me with a cheerful smile. “Hello there Eli! You here for some food?” he asked. I smiled realizing I could probably just put it on my dad’s tab or something. “Yes sir!” I said.

                He led me to a seat and left me with the menu, telling me he’d leave it for my dad to pay. I relaxed back and glanced around the restaurant. I looked at the table closest to me and my heart dropped out of my chest and shattered on the floor.

                Sam and Brad were sitting together, eating and talking. Brad said something and Sam started giggling. Smiling, Brad leaned over and the two shared a deep kiss.