Wish You Were Mine

1 & 2 & 3

13 Oct Tuesday

Dear Diary

Today, I broke someone heart. Someone that I loves so much. I didnt meant to but I have to. I love him so much but theres something that I dont want to tell him. Today, went he tell me that how much he loves me, oh lord, damn Im so stupid for letting someone that loved me so much down and shatter. I didnt want him to get hurt. You know what, I had so much fun when im with you. Your smile really made my day. When I having a difficult day, you always cheer me up. Your eyes, when you looking at me, I see that joyful and pure sparkle eyes when you've glad to see me. Your voice, your word so sweet despite your sweet voice make me melt when you say that you love me. Your body, your warm hot body always give me some strenght when you hug me tight. And honestly, dont trust my words. I never hates you brandon. Never will. You are my world. You know, that time, I having a difficult situation. Its hard for me to tell you that I hates you and I regret but this is for your life too. I love you brandon and always.

15 Oct Thursday

Dear Diary

Today, I asked Jaden to company me because I want to asked him about your interesting. Its about 3 weeks before your birthday. I wanna make some surprise without known it from me. And I saw you, I know you hurt but to be honest, I hurt to. I dont want ever to met you because I felt so guilty. I dont wanna hurt you. I saw you, you glance on me with hurt eyes and bleeding heart. But then, I had really headache after school and theres you infront my car. I have no idea. No words can describe my feeling when you're talking that you never give up on me. I cant handle my feelings and I just left you. I still wear your rings because I still pove you. Nobody can even replace you. And about Jaden, im sorry. I dont even think that Jaden can replace you. You hurt and same goes to me because I really love you.

20 Oct Monday

Dear Diary,

Day by day..
My head getting very hurt. You know, before I have a date with you at funfair. I went to the clinic because I had a serious headache. And this really disappoint me. And this is totally the reason why I have to to this to you. Doctor told me that have a growth in my skull. And its become a cancer and my cancer had a stage 3 . And to be honest its hurt me. Nobody know about this and I never ever tell someone. And so I make a desicion to break up with you because I dont want you get hurt. I know you loves me and I dont want your feelings become more more and more. And I loves you too. I dont want you to feel sad with im gone. I want you to cheer up with someone who can replace me one day. Without any heart break. I've through all of difficult pain. Day by day, my body felt so weak. But I have to be strong. Because I want to see you everyday even I know I cant touch you. Before this, I told you that I had a headache and you said " maybe you've been thinking about me to much and your haed couldnt accepted it " and I laugh alone. That why I have to control my mind so I can lost my pain and I can together with you again.