Alright, so there's this boy that goes to the University of Southern California (USC). A University that I have only just joined. He has blue eyes, brown hair and tanned skin. He seems kind and all, but I feel that there is something mysterious abou...
I woke up and felt arms around me tightly, squishing me against Skyler's body. I'm between him and the couch but I don't really mind that. He is fast asleep. I can leave if I really want to. However, I don't want to betray him and go without telling him goodbye and that I will be safe.
It's getting dark outside but there is a slight peak of sunlight coming from the clouds which is causing the clouds to become pink and purple.
I lightly pulled Skyler's arms off around me and sat up, rubbing my eyes and thinking of what to do. It's not that he is keeping me here and it's not the fact that I'm hisprisoner. He only wants me to be safe and he knows he can provide protection for me but he can't always keep me safe.
I slowly get up from the couch, took my phone from the table, and wandered out into the kitchen where Roxie was. "What are you doing awake? You was fast asleep not even 15 minutes ago when I came in to check on you", I nodded and walked over to her. "Sky wouldn't be upset if I left him to go back home, would he?" She tutted. "He would be upset if you left. You should have seen him when I left him the first time we found each other. I only went outside into the garden and he was ever so slightly upset and curious as to why I left".
I sighed and run a hand through my hair. "Don't worry about what he wants you to do. I shouldn't really be saying this... But it's about what you want right now. If you want to leave and go home then what, or who on earth is stopping you? Nobody at all! It's your will", I smiled and petted her. "You're a good friend Roxie. If he wakes up and becomes upset, please tell him that I love him and I'm sorry for leaving. But I need to go and see if mother is okay". She nodded.
We said our goodbye's and I set out into the dark streets of LA. As I was walking home, I began to thoroughly think about what Roxie had told me.
It's about what you want right now... Who on earth is stopping you?
She is so wise, humble, and right. It's about what I want and not what others want and want me to be. I am my own and so is everyone on earth and nobody should change.
*EXPLICIT CONTENT BELOW*
As I returned home, the lights were off except for the one in the living room. I walked inside and was whacked with a smell of alcohol. I cringed and gagged at the small. It's a very strong smell.
"Mother? Are you-" I gasped when I saw her dark figure standing in the kitchen doorframe. "Where have you been for the past 2 days, Paige?" I tried to lie but I knew I couldn't escape this. "You was with that... Thing! Wasn't you"?
"Mother he isn't a 'thing'! He's a human, like us! His name is-" I was cut off, again.
"I know his bloody name you stupid girl. You chose a boy over your own mother! You chose some, BOY over me? Let me refresh that stupid little head of yours. I was the one who kept a roof over your petty head. I was the one that put food on the table EVERY SINGLE DAY. I was also the one that gave birth to you, giving you life. And you choose a boy who you haven't even known your whole life, over me? Your mother? You stupid fucking bitch".
She picked up a bottle from the side and swigged from it. "Mother you need to stop drinking! Please, this isn't healthy for you". I completely ignored what she said to me and tried to calm down the situation. She is very wrong with what she said to me. "YOU. Especially YOU, do not tell me what to do with myself and my body" I sighed
"You still ignored me with all that I said. You didn't even have the audacity to answer me! You didn't even fight for me. What the hell do you think that that says about you? You idiot. You're nothing but a worthless, stupid, fucking piece of-" I cut her off by putting my hands to my ears and allowed her to rant on. As she finished, I took my hands away from my ears and she took another swig and wobbled in her spot.
"My OWN mother, my EVERYTHING... You was never cut out to be my mother. You was never fit enough to provide for what I needed and who I needed. I need YOU. It was always you and I couldn't even have you because you were too busy drinking your life away with bottles upon bottles of alcohol. You chose taking your OWN life away, other than your OWN daughter? And you call me the selfish whore and the worthless bitch? Think about your words more wisely and take a look at your own damn self before you judge me, your own daughter".
I marched up the stairs and slammed my door shut. I can't take this anymore, I'm done with being treated like a waste of space when clearly I'm not even that.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
I don't have anyone... I mean, I only have Skyler and Roxie. My only everything's now. But mother? She is nothing to me anymore. She is capable of taking care of her damn self, she doesn't need anyone to do it for her. I pulled out my phone and saw a message.
Skyler: Do you think that breaking promises like this is okay? I told you to stay here and you didn't listen to me! Do you not understand that I'm trying to protect you? Obviously you don't because you walked away and didn't even wake me up to ask me for permission to leave. All I wanted was for you to stay. Is that too much to ask for? Am I asking for too much?
Thanks for making me feel guilty and also thanks for making me feel more sad than I felt before.
Me:
Sky, please don't be mad... I'm really sorry that I left and that I didn't tell you. I felt like I really needed to check on mother and hope for the best that she was okay. I love you x
I threw my phone into my bed and sat down beside it. I don't understand why he's so mad at me... I hate myself for the way he's speaking to me. It's all of my fault. I should have come straight home on Friday and not listened to him. All of this wouldn't have happened if I just went home.
I threw my head into the pillow and let my tears stream down my face. I didn't ask for this and I didn't ask for this to be my life. Why can't I just take care of myself and not take care of others all of the time? I'm so sick of it and it's emotionally destroying me. I just want to be a little girl again... I want to be happy and have so much freedom again. I don't want to feel like this, sad, anymore.
It's killing me.
Me:
Sky, please... I need you, I love you
A/N:
Guys... Every chapter I put up, please give me feedback on how you liked the chapter etc. Don't comment "update" because that's so not motivational at all and it makes me never want to update this book because of the lack off feedback and comments. So please let me know and please understand the story of what I'm trying to tell you. Listen to it, read it, and acknowledge the message. If you can guess before the end of the book (it's a long way off but still), then you're omniscient af.
Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this update and many more will come if y'all give me feedback on the story and on the chapter!
