Will's POV
After the amazing thing Abby and I did, something starts to really bother me. Abby wasn't a virgin. She has had sex before.
Of course, I cannot blindly think that she should have stayed alone all her life. But this really bugs me. And as I help her with the sheets I can't stop but wonder. Was it Danny? Did they get that far?
Abby looks at me intently as if something bothers her as well. Then she touches my face and traces one finger down my jawline, and I forget what I was about to ask. I know my love for her is not just physical shit. Of course there is some of it involve, but it goes way back when I knew what was in her head. I remember that the best talks of my life I have had them with this woman in my arms.
It is amazing how different she sounds now, but she feels the same in a way I cannot quiet figure out. I want to wrap myself around her, I want to/have to have all of her.
She has been saying something, I have not followed and babbled a response. However, I need to know this.
"I believe that you don't do this with many guys. I am just a little curious about something. If you don't mind my asking." -she shakes her hair and I continue, I am not sure I want to know-"Who did you first slept with?"
She looks taken aback, holds the sheets firmly over her chest and starts...
"Some years ago, about five or six, I fell in love with a guy" I can feel my heart hammering in my chest and I feel sick to my stomach but don't say anything. "He was a guy I met by coincidence, I was in high school and didn't know what life was about and how hard love can be. Even so, there I was - her voice sort of trembles but she goes on as if in trance looking into her past- I fell so hard my head felt light whenever I was around him. It didn't start nor it lasted, that is what I want to believe at least. He... He died."
She stops, I want her to continue, but I stare at her as questions pop inside my head. I know she was just talking about me, but we never had sex. I don't understand.
"He died and I was left in pieces. Will... " she says my name, her lips trembling "Will was this guy every girl has a crush on in school, that crooked smile could those tousled curls where perfect. He was this perfect guy and he had such a big heart, too. The day he told me he loved is such a vivid memory, if a close my eyes I can see those words coming out of his mouth.
"that same day, the same day he loved me, the same day he kissed me for the first time; a truck crashed his car in the highway and he died.
"Danny - you know him - was there for me all the time. He was my rock and I love him for that. I was so young and so stupidly in love with a guy that was no longer alive. But Danny... Danny was there. And still I wanted to rip my skin off from the pain. I cannot put into words how I felt" Abby brushes some tears I haven't noticed were there and goes on.
"I was not alone, but I felt alone. I didn't want to die but I felt like Will had taken a piece I would never get back... One night, I left my house in the middle of the night and started wandering around the town. I don't remember how I got to the beach, and I found one of Will's friends sitting at the edge of the pier. He was there, minding his own business. He looked drunk, and I should have left, but I stayed and there.
"The pier was where I felt closer to Will, so I stubbornly stayed. A couple of minutes after I got there, he noticed me. He looked at me and recognized me, he said he missed Will too. I knew he didn't like me, but we had Will in common and he missed him, too. It was starting to clear up, and I sat next to him. Thought it was safe since it was almost morning and he looked sad. At one moment he grabbed me by the arm and told me Will had loved me for real. That made me cry and that's when he forced me to the floor and touched me. He did 'that' to me on that wooden pier...
"I wanted to scream but didn't, I sometimes think that I was looking for that to happen to me. He forced me and took me there, and I didn't move. I just left him finish... When he was done, he zipped his pants and left." I am so mad my hands were in fists, I want to scream at Abby for letting that happen to her. I want to know the name of that fucking bastard. He doesn't deserve to be alive. I want to kill that son of a bitch. I want to rip him into pieces.
"A friend of Will's?" is all I can say, grabbing at the headboard and hearing it creak. Abby looks at me a little frighten. I must look as angry and outrage.
"His name was Mark"
