If I Can Love You, Why Can't You? - A Werewolf Novel

If I Can Love You, Why Can't You? - Chp 42 [All Around Me]

I'm I'm alive, I'm I'm alive/I can feel you all around me/Thickening the air I'm breathing/Holding on to what I'm feeling/Savouring this heart that's healing/My hands float up above me/And you whisper you love me/And I begin to fade/Into our secret place~Flyleaf – All Around Me

Pregnancy is a rollercoaster ride of emotions; there’s the thrill and excitement of being a mother – bringing life into this world. There is the utter devotion of love coupled with a mother’s fierceness of protection, one somewhat similar to a lion and her cub. Then there is the negative emotions that weaken you and put you through that doubt of exhaustion – yet at the end of the day you know deep down that it’s worth it. The negative emotions are the ones that weigh down heavily upon you; the exhaustion of constantly being disrupted and uncomfortable some way, the stress and strain of how everything is resting on your shoulders and you have so much to withhold and provide. Or simply the self consciousness of your body, how you suddenly feel ugly and you begin to worry of what others will see of you and think – your loved ones and partner especially. Of course there is the anxiety of whether you’re eating enough, whether you’re doing the right thing, whether the baby is healthy and fine. The list goes on but at the end of the day the strain and the negativity is outweighed in a heartbeat by the sole fact that your bringing a baby into this world that you love more than anything and you’d do anything for that little treasure of yours.

Being the first pregnancy I’ve entailed – and I did plan to have more babes – I was utterly anxious, worried and constantly questioning and doubting myself. The simplest of things left me worrying, questioning; was I eating too little? Was too much acidic food bad for the baby and was I eating too much of it? Should I be taking more vitamin tablets? Should I be doing more classes? The list went on and on. I was reassured nevertheless that the second pregnancy would be less terrifying and by the third pregnancy it would be a walk in the park.

Family and friends were an utter lifesaver; I had so much support and love that the further I went into the pregnancy the more emotional I’d get and the more I’d cry about how utterly grateful I was towards those I loved. Everyone of my family members were supportive all each in their own way, the boys from the pack were always there willing to help out whether it’d be to do something for me when I was home alone or to keep me company since Will had blatantly said I was not to be home alone at all. Rob and Dad were around constantly playing the fatherly figure, being all protective and helpful and just being there. Dad was a saint, never judgmental and in all honesty he was beyond excited at being a grandfather, at the end of the day he was happy that I was happy and getting my own personal happily ever after. Rob was a saint in reassuring me – constantly – that I was going to be giving birth to an actual fluffy dog.

Adam and Amber were beyond ecstatic at the news and Amber was constantly cooing to my stomach with sparkling ecstatic eyes. If my calculations were correct at any given moment she’d be literally demanding Adam to put a baby inside of her. Adam was great about being an Uncle, reassuring me that he was going to spoil this treasure so much that I’d be in hell. At the end of the day they declared that the baby was more reason for them to stay here, thus them both getting jobs here and moving in with dad until they found their dream home and were ready to settle down.

The girls – my two best friends – were beyond amazing, they didn’t know that I was engaged to a werewolf or anything else but at the end of the day they were beyond happy for me, they’d go on for ages about how lucky I was and how much of a fairytale my life had become. They had no idea how right they were. When I had told them it took over an hour to get them to stop squealing in joy and jumping up and down – although I must admit I joined in too. Nevertheless they would constantly gush about being the best Aunties possible and they were always around if it wasn’t feeling my stomach it was helping me relax with pedicure visits or more, girl time in amongst all of the testosterone and pregnancy hormones was just what I needed.