WAR PEACE.

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Unedited.

BAD BLOOD(my version)

Oh it's so sad to think about the good times (when I used to be happy)
You and I ........(me, it's just me now)
Cause baby now we got bad blood (boiling red blood)
You know we used to mad love (until Thandie came along)
So take a look of what you're done (you are the origin of all problems)
Cause baby now we got bad blood...... (yes we do)
Now we got problems ( 99 problems, main subject: love)
And I don't think we can solve em ( unsolvable alright)
You made a really deep cut (permanent scar)
And baby now we got bad blood ( oh, just great hey)

Yeah, thanks Taylor. That song was so meant for this situation...
I feel better

*****************
I feel like I'm preparing for a great battle. A battle that has to be won. A battle to fight against what damages me emotionally.

Love is my weapon and I'm ready to fight.

It's been long, I've waited so long to feel like this. Definate beast mode activated! After all the mess I've been through it's funny how I still got a little fight left in me.

Why am I going to war?
Sometimes you get annoyed of the same thing recurring again and again.
Sometimes you gotta be wise and man up.
You gotta fight it (pain) out if you want to change something.
You gotta see or invent positivity to conquer after being trapped by negativity.

You gotta fight out the inevitable.
I can and I will.
I'll start this and finish it, when I'm done I'll be at a new level... a new chapter in this book of pain.

No more pain.

Woow... that's a lot. For me. Those three words speak volumes to me.
It means a lot to me. Those three words can just change and switch around things. For me.

But then I see his face in my head and suddenly I feel ill.
He was never good for me, funny how I only realise such thing at the very end. I only see it now. He used me.
He lied, cheated right infront of me.
He lied.
He waisted my time, he wasted precious months of my life. He intentionally drained me. Took away all of my energy. He was bad for my health. He's toxic I tell you, but I always seem to run back to him.
Not anymore I won't.

He lied. About all of the compliments and expressing his love to me.
He lied. About how lucky he is to have me.
He lied. About how he'll always love me forever.
He lied.

Nothing good ever came out from loving you. I don't know what human being can sleep peacefully knowing he damaged a girl's life. Like dude, how do you sleep at night?
Blind sighted I was.
My heart kept refusing to believe the truth, that he lied.

At the end of this battle I will finally be at peace.
*
Allow me to extract some thoughts out of my mind.
Kindly read the lyrics of Beyonce's Poison. It speaks for the words unspoken.

BEYONCE - POISON

[Verse 1:]
You're bad for me
I clearly get it
I don't see how something good could come from loving you

The death of me
Must be your mission
'Cause with every hug and kiss,
You're snatching every bit of strength

That I'm gon' need to fight off the inevitable
And it's a heart-breaking situation
I'm up in but I can't control

[Chorus:]
You're just like poison
Slowly moving through my system breaking all of my defenses with time

You're just like poison
And I just don't get it
How could something so deadly feel so right?

I'm not sure of what to do
It's a catch twenty-two
'Cause the cure is found in you,
I don't want it but I do

You're just like poison
My affliction, I'm addicted, I can't lie
Kiss me one more time before I die

[Verse 2:]
You ain't right, take me high
Then that high, it subsides
And my body flat lines

Then you come to revive
Wait, wait, wait, I'm alive
But how long will it last?
Will it all come crashing down?

How many doses am I needin' now?
What's the prognosis, will you be around?
Or am I just another victim of an assassin that broke my heart down?

[Chorus:]
Baby, you're just like poison
Slowly moving through my system breaking all of my defenses with time

You're just like poison
And I just don't get it
How could something so deadly feel so right?

I'm not sure of what to do
It's a catch twenty-two
'Cause the cure is found in you,
I don't want it but I do

You're just like poison
My affliction, I'm addicted, I can't lie
Kiss me one more time before I die

[Verse 3:]
It's just not my body (oh),
It's my mind you don't know how many times I told myself this can't do (can't do)
And that I don't need you
(No, I don't need you, no)

It's so unfair
That I find myself right back in your care
And what's good is that when you're not always there (there, there)
You're no good for my health, my health

You're just like poison
Whoa, whoa, whoa

You're just like poison
Whoa, whoa, whoa

[Chorus:]
You're just like poison
Slowly moving through my system breaking all of my defenses with time

You're just like poison
And I just don't get it
How could something so deadly feel so right?

I'm not sure of what to do
It's a catch twenty-two
'Cause the cure is found in you,
I don't want it but I do

You're just like poison
My affliction, I'm addicted, I can't lie
Baby, kiss me one more time

You're just like poison
Slowly moving through my system breaking all of my defenses with time

You're just like poison
And I just don't get it
How could something so deadly feel so right?

I'm not sure of what to do
It's a catch twenty-two
'Cause the cure is found in you,
I don't wanna do

You're just like poison
I'm addicted, I can't lie
Kiss me one more time before I die.

Yeah, Beyonce play's a role in calming me. Her songs are everything, especially the sad ones. It's like she made them just for me. I truly appreciate her.
***********************

Letter to my first love.

Dear Jay.

I hope one day you will realize I did truly care for you. I promise you're gonna miss me, putting up with you, refusing to give up on you. You're gonna regret everything you've done to me, including all the damage you've caused. And someday, you'll turn back and I won't be waiting for you any longer. I might have been worthless to you, but you'll miss me, when I become priceless to another.

From Wendy.

I'm at the brink of winning this battle, I feel it.

@wendaelegit

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