What We Once Were | ✔

10 | Joseph

The day was over with worry gone, The school itself was nice and I wasn't lying when I said I liked it, it felt so much better then New York, more comforting. I knew August felt the same but for her, it wasn't the right time to pressure her for an answer. Mom picked us up because the bus couldn't reach our house, it was too far back in the woods for a bus to reach it. The ride home was silent of course, the attempt to start a conversation wasn't felt by anybody, our thoughts were too jumbled.

Once we got home, we all climbed out to the house which still felt so new to August and I.

"How was my old school?" Mom asked once we walked inside, August sat down messing with her hair.

I released my breath, "fine, it wasn't bad." I answered truthfully, "I liked it."

A smiled erupted on mom's face, "really? That's amazing! I was hoping you two would liked it!"

I chuckled, "I did."

"It was okay." August mumbled, "but I'm not holding to that." Her lips teased us with a small smile, something lifted off my heart to see that.

"You will," I laughed sitting beside her, "we even made friends."

"Really?" Mom asked excitedly. I nodded.

"Yeah, she showed us around and ate with us," I felt August lean into me, "a friend."

Mom blew out a breath, "I'm happy that you two were able to make a good start." She smiled at us earnestly.

"Still more to come," August mumbled, she pulled her hand from mine turning to the stairs, I watched her walk up disappearing in her room. As soon as the door closed mom and I turned to one another.

Mom was the first to speak.

"How was she really?" Her voice quiet.

I closed my eyes, all day she was almost fine like she was actually getting better.

"Almost normal, scared at first but that's normal isn't it?" I looked up, mom smiled.

She pulled two glasses from the old paint chipped cabinets, mom quietly poured two cups of coffee sliding one to me.

"How was she with others? Like the teachers?"

"Skittish but I was too but I was better at hiding it and the others-" I thought about that girl Heather, how she was able to talk to August like good friends. "It was fine." My lips formed a smile.

As if some weight had been lifted mom smiled and mean it, "I'm happy to hear it."

"Me too."

"I'm happy you guys are adjusting well here," her bottom lip quivered, her eyes rested on me.

"Its a fresh start isn't it?" I asked, "that's what you do."

A few hours later after mom and I finished our conversation, I thought back to the paper we wrote during English class, I told August not to write about Dad but I was being hypocritical. Half of what I wrote about was about dad, how he made light of everything, I closed my eyes laying on my bed, I couldn't help it.

       I sighed, pushing off I left my room heading back down stairs, I walked through the living room out the screen door that faced forest, salt hit my nose even though we were so far from the ocean. I smiled; I loved that smell. My feet crunched on the leaves and twigs as I walked to the trees, my eyes wandered around me. New York hadn't been this beautiful, it was noisy all the time and I smelled exhaust in my sleep.

But here there was no noise, no bad smell, nothing that made me think of the past.

My phone buzzed in my pocket, I grumbled to myself pulling it out. Almost a week since my phone made a noise. I looked at the screen, Ryan, my old friend, had texted me. I didn't bother reading it, Ryan wasn't the kind of person to care about what happens to you, why did I even still have his number?

I shoved my phone back in my pockets, I did realize that things were changing in my life and starting with the wrong things of my past.

"Its pretty."

I turned to see August standing behind me, her arms wrapped a thick sweater around her shoulders.

I smiled, "it is."

She walked up beside me, her shoulder touched mine as she leaned into me.

"Mom left for town," August shifted her arms.

"For what?"

"Groceries," August chuckled, "what else?"

I lit up, she smiled, I felt relived seeing it from her. I looked down at her, she was looking over the colorful trees.

"How was today really?"

She didn't answer right away, instead she thought about it eventually looking up time with a small smile.

"It was nice, I'm not lying about it, I really do think that moving here was more then a good thing." Branches snapped as she stepped forward facing me, "I thought about it last night, I was thinking about how this move would help and how I would change."

I raised a eyebrow, "what was you're answer?"

"New people." She answered quickly, "because everything in New York was-"

"Poison." I finished for her, I crossed my arms over my chest. "Wasn't it?"

She nodded.

"Finally getting away from it all, to here-" August motioned to the forest, "-it like someone just wiped away all the bad things."

I looked up, the sky was filled with clouds and gold, somewhere up there was God looking down on us, watching us, and I knew: He was protecting us.

"God?" I asked.

August followed my eyes up to the golden sky, her eyes danced at each ray of light shooting down from the sky to earth like a waterfall. She nodded, "yeah, God."

"He just wiped away all the bad, I realize that." She looked back down to me, her short hair was a mess hugging her face.

"I'm glad we moved away from New York, if we hadn't...." My voice trailed, I looked up to August, "I don't think we would of changed."

"We wouldn't of."

"But we do and now it doesn't matter," I stretched my arms out, my lungs filled up with the smell of the ocean. "But we still need to remember it."

"You said that already, Joseph. " August whispered.

"I mean it, too."

The bad things we did back in New York, I knew it was all wrong and but now I wanted to be stronger for myself as well, I thought back to my old friends, my old life, and how I wanted nothing to do with it.

Now I can breath.

We both can.