Shy Boy with Hidden Secrets. [Zarry, Zouis, Ziam, Ziall] //Discontinued//

Chapter 19 -Zayn-

Zayn's POV/ [*gasp* O:] [Oh and I love that song on the right! Plus I it goes REALLY well with this chapter! It's almost the whole chapter in a song! And have you seen my background?! o-o]

I watched them leave shivering, walking through the snow with glassy eyes. It pained me to see them like that but it had to be done. They needed to go for their own good. They will forget about me soon enough and carry on with their lives. Lives full of smiles, laughs, happiness, and all that love from family and friends. Love. Wish I could have some of that without loosing it. 

It's like everyone I come to love has to leave. My mom, my dad, my sisters, my friends, and especially those four boys I had to go evil on! I regret it, but they can't love me. A dead 'murderer' and a living innocent person can't be together. It's just pure logic.

I don't age, they do. I don't eat or sleep, they need that. They die, well what do you know? I'm already dead watching them die slowly in front of me going to heaven if that place even exists. My mom went up there, I'm sure of that! So have the rest of my family and friends! Except for me. It's like god doesn't want me and neither does the devil. 

I never thought the devil himself wouldn't want me. Hell actually sounds better than this place, just living as an undying emotional mess. Being called names, dealing with strangers with their cameras and recorders just asking me to reveal myself. I made a vow to never show myself to anybody because it was just cause more problems. I broke that vow and I brought all this misery upon myself. It's all my fault. I always screw things up. 

I slowly walked up the stairs and into the room they slept in. The beds weren't made, except for Liam's and their belongings on the small sofa against the wall. I then remember their kisses. A small smile crept on my face.

Louis' kiss was wonderful! His lips were soft, slightly rough. I felt wanted, and cared for.

Harry's kiss was passionate. I couldn't help but move with him just enjoying the feeling of his pink plump lips.

Liam's kiss was honest and welcoming. His lips were inviting, not big, but not thin either. They were just the right size they needed to be.

Last but not least, Niall's kiss. His kiss was cut off short but I felt something like I did with everyone else. The kiss was a bit forceful, yet it felt sweet.

All their kisses remind me of him. He loved and cared for me. His kisses were passionate and loving. His lips were so inviting and the taste of them were sweet. Although we were a secret, he was my beautiful secret. I would sneak around to kiss him good-morning and kiss him good-night. We would go to our secret hiding spot and laugh and just enjoy each others company. He would tell me what was going on, beyond the gates and I would teach him how to draw. 

I would steal kisses from his light pink lips and he would playfully punch me in the arm. We were a secret no one knew about. Actually no one still doesn't know about us. I even wrote a song about him, on one of my last days as a living human being. If they did know, we couldn't be together. They didn't know about us. It was a forbidden love, but yet it still existed.

Now I lost it. All because of that night. That night changed me forever. I lost everything. I lost him. I lost the best thing I had during that time. Now it was me and my mansion. My mansion where all the best memories happen. Also where all the worst memories happened. If I love someone or something, I'll loose it. 

Just like I loved him. I loved him and he now he's gone. Now a hundred years later, I'm starting to love 4 very special people, just like I loved him. Just like last time, it's a forbidden love. 

According to the universe love is forbidden to me. The only thing I can do is let them go and let them have a love that's not impossible. 

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It's Short.

Okay well... Boo-Bye!

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