Being young

PART 2: Chapter 5

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Beyoncé POV

"While she was asleep she started coughing up blood but she didn't spit it out because of how she was laying. The blood went down into her lugs, fluid in the lungs is a serious problem. However, when treating her we came across something worse." The doctor paused as we stared at her not sure of what to do. The doctor had tried to be as helpful and supportive as possible but nothing could make up for the fact that my little sister was laying in a hospital bed. She wasn't herself, her skin was dull and gloomy. Her eyes remained closed as she lay on her back with tubes connected to her and coming out of her. She wasn't smiling and happy and talking, just laying there. The doctor had said they came across something worse but what could be worse? I'm not silly I know the results of having liquid in the lungs. You can die, suffocate, drown from the inside out. There could be lung failure. The list goes on but apparently there was something worse than my little sister coughing up blood and choking on it. "The cause for the blood in the first place. I'm sorry but she has Adenocarcinoma"

What?

No she doesn't. She can't she's fine. It's just a cough. She's just a little sick she's going to be fine. She doesn't have Adenocarcinoma, she can't It's just hot happening. She must have got it wrong.

"You're wrong!" I yelled at her, I looked at my parents with wide eyes then back at her. "No she doesn't" I shook me head but the doctor just nodded hers and looked over at my parents.

"What does that mean?" Mom asked, she had her arms crossed with dad's arms around her shoulders in a comforting way. The didn't believe her did she? They couldn't believe her because she's obviously got her file mixed up with someone else or she just didn't diagnose her properly. My little sister doesn't have... It

"Stage 1 lung cancer." There was the bomb. I'd rather say Adenocarcinoma because it meant I didn't need to hear the word. The word everyone dreaded, the one thing not one person on the planet wasn't scared of. Cancer. Every single person is worried about it, It comes out of no where and strikes you at your happiest moments, it takes away everything in you and ruins families before killing you off. You might survive but you're left with the scars forever. The memories. The fear. It's true, no one wants to ever head the word in connection to themselves or someone they know. Of course after all of this my little sister would have cancer. Of course I would do that. My mom fell onto the chair crying as my dad let go of her and held his head in his hands.

Why do I keep hurting people? Why do I do this?

"I understand how you feel, I'll give you some time before I come back. There are things we can do and it's fortunate we caught it now while it's only stage 1. We have options, Surgery, chemotherapy and radiation therapy" Fortunate? Thank god she didn't use Lucky this time but fortunate? This was far from it. Nothing was ever fortunate. My mom nodded her head at the doctor and dad stood leaning on the wall sadly as the doctor left the room. His head dropped as he looked down at his feet and mom sat in the chair next to a sleeping Solange and grabbed her hands before closing her eyes. She was praying, my mother always prayed for us. She begged God for a good life for her daughter, She thanked God for all of our blessings and she worshipped God for being so good to her. Through all of this I've begun to loose faith. If this God person is so magical and merciful why is my sister in a hospital bed. It was supposed to be me. I was going to be the one in the hospital bed for a final time before my end, that's how it was supposed to be. I knew it. It just had to happen but God wasn't letting it happen. Instead he wanted me to suffer the pain on my sister.