Being young

Part 2: Chapter 1

Friday September 14th 1999

Beyoncé POV:

I was sat in the school library for study period reading a book Jay had recommended, apparently the library at Columbia was astounding and he couldn't help but wonder in there whenever he had the chance; he made sure to look for books that might excite the both of us. He had just recommended 'War and Peace' by Leo Tolstoy which I had heard about on many occasions but never really bothered to pick up until Jay insisted over the phone last night. That was something I loved, the fact that Jay hadn't left too long ego but still made sure he called me or messaged me every day and his reasoning would be 'I miss you' or 'I need to hear that accent' and 'You're the best part of the day'. It's nice to have someone like that, someone who's thinking about you even though they're far away. Our summer was beautiful: we went to the beach and I joined him at a family barbecue, we went to watch a basketball game and we snuck around so my dad wouldn't see us which was always thrilling ( I still haven't told him about Jay) , we went to restaurants and movies and go-carting. It was all a lot of fun, Kelly and Michelle stayed over at my house for a week and then Nicki came 'round. I don't think I've ever really had a summer like that, where I spent time with everyone. I even spent time with my parents and Solange. I took Solange to see a play, we went to a concert as well as Astroworld. I've never been this happy before and nothing was going to ruin that. What happened with all the bullying is over, I've not been bothered by anyone and the first week of school moved swiftly without a piece of food being thrown at me at all. I have a loving boyfriend, a great set of friends and I'm very happy.

"Bey" Nicki tapped my shoulder and sat in the chair next to mine as she leaned into me trying to be as quiet as possible.

"Yeah?" I asked her,

"I need your help" She bit her lip and looked at me worried. You know when you look at your friend and you know something is up, you know they want you to leave the room with them and talk to them in private, they just have that look on their face as if they're about to cry and so you nod you head and put your arm around them worrying as you leave the room. You think: Is she dying? does she know someone who's dying? Is she leaving? Is she sick? Is she in serious trouble? You mind just jumps to the worst things possible as you walk toward the toilet because in school that's where all the serious business goes down and stand in front of her waiting for her to talk. You don't know if you should ask or if she'll talk by herself so you just look at her. "Bey" She bit down on her bottom lip and busted out crying before falling into my body and hugging me tight.

"Nick? What's wrong? Is it Meek? " I asked her as I leaned my head down on to hers and hugged her little body. Nicki had decided to wear big black curls today so my face was covered with it but that was okay because she was crying. "Nick, talk to me" I told her.

"Bey, I'm pregnant" She sobbed and I just let my eyes open wide and looked down at her as I pulled away,

"Nicki" I began but she just shook her head and walked away from me.

"I know!" She crossed her arms and sighed, "It just happened, we usually use condoms and it was only one time without. I had completely forgot because it was the day before school started. It's been just over a week now and it takes a few days for the whole fertilisation thing and I was supposed to get my period two days ago and nothing so I got a pregnancy test this mornin' and it was positive" She explained and I just chuckled at her,

"Nicki you idiot" I laughed and she just stared at me,

"it's too early to tell if you really are pregnant, those pregnancy tests can be wrong and they often are. The only way to know for sure is to go to the doctor. It's only been two days, sometimes periods are late and sometimes they're early that's just life. Watch, tomorrow you'll get your period and things will be fine and if not and you are pregnant then you've got a decision to make. You have to tell your mom, tell Meek and really understand what's going on before you rush into anything, you can have an abortion, keep the baby, put it up for adoption. Whatever you and your family decide, everything is gonna be fine" She walked back over to me smiling and hugged me again. "Just remember that this isn't only your baby, it's Meek's too. If you are pregnant. And so his opinion counts, that could be your parent's grandchild and your siblings niece or nephew. Everyone is going to have a say but ultimately you and Meek decide. What's best for your child and what's best for you" I had a very bad feeling that she was pregnant, I could just feel it in my gut. I also had a very weird feeling about what she was going to do with the baby, why did I feel like she was going to have an abortion? Something was just telling me that she was going to go to the doctors and be told she was having a baby then without telling anyone she'd get rid of it and play it off as if she was never pregnant. Something was just whispering the story of her in my ear and I didn't like it. I want her to do well and be happy but a baby? She's just 17, about to turn 18 in December. She's not ready for a baby, she doesn't have a job or anything. Then again... she probably should have thought about that before she opened her legs for her man who didn't wrap it up.