GRL Heard Around the world and other short stories

San Francisco,California

Standing out in front of the balcony and looking toward the horizon, I could absorb the feeling of serenity Alex described to me before he died. 

The agent told me that before he joined the government agency, he knew that his life would no longer be the same. And when you work with the forces, "Big Brother" would always be watching your every step.  If you attempt to disobey the rules, it might be your last. Thus, we all took a risk to be a secret agent. 

Unfortunately, my faithful companion lost his life in Africa because I did not save him in time. I blame myself for it. 

Perhaps, he predicted his fate before hand, and tried to warn me about it. Sigh!

But I am proud of Alex for everything he helped me with, even though we often quarreled over the most ridiculous things, such as figuring out directions and allotting time for certain assignments. All I know was that Alex was my mentor for a few years on the road. 

And I'm going to miss that guy!

But I am moving on. And now I feel free as a bird, since I don't have to listen to Quimby's agonizing orders, and am able to make my own decisions. 

With this, I took a breath of relief!

And the first one was to move back to my home in California with my mom. The last time she heard from me was in Spain, as my fellow agents and I were attacking Avilov's men. She was so happy to see her only son back, not knowing all the past fiascoes and obstacles I went through. 

Yes, I guess you can call me a Mama's boy and that irritated me for a long time!  

But after a few days living with her, mom probably had a hunch that I was now a troubled soul.

I didn't eat for days, and sometimes she would see me staring up at the ceiling or reaching out to touch a blank space in the air. 

Maybe I was a lunatic, but I just couldn't forget what happened.

Thus, she advised me to see a psychiatrist, a Dr. Leonard Rowe. It took some time for her to convince me to go, but I did it. I had too anyway or she wouldn't leave me alone! 

So, I have been seeing him for at least two weeks now, but still don't feel quite right.

Why did I even let a total stranger know about my past?  It's like an invasion of privacy. 

But after a week, the doctor diagnosed me as having Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

I thought of it as joke. There's no way I could have that ... but after a few days I realized that the doctor might have a point, given the fact that I went through so much.
~~
I headed back inside for my appointment and sat down on the blue futon in the back. To ease my mind away, my eyes wandered around the therapist's office again.

The diplomas on his white walls enchanted me, for I never went to college. Instead I went straight to transitional school to take up criminal justice and joined the secret service once that was done. I never realized how I wanted to do more in my life after my job as an agent was done.

I've been through so much traumatic scenes since Alex and I left Romania. And somehow I still have thoughts of Maria, the girl I wanted to be with, but knew it was wrong. As agents, we were told to never fall in love with our clients. And that's just how our jobs worked.

But now I heard that Maria has married a rich man, and has flown almost everywhere around the world with him. It was posted in magazines and newspapers.I wonder if she's happy and if that's what she really wants. Probably she has forgotten about Rick Dorrington, since it's been a couple of years since we last met. I mean what are the chances that we will ever see each other again?