From Worse, To Better- A Zayn Malik Fanfic

Chapter 16 *PLEASE READ THE AUTHOR'S NOTE*

AUTHOR'S NOTE: *PLEASE READ* 

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THOSE WHO CONTINUED TO READ, THOUGH I HADN'T UPDATED. THIS IS OFFICIALLY AN UPDATE, TOO. I WILL CONTINUE THIS STORY DUE TO IT'S SUCCESS IT SEEMS TO HAVE. I AM SORRY FOR NEVER UPDATING IT, I HAD NOT THOUGHT OF ANY IDEAS FOR IT, BUT NOW I DO. THIS UPDATE MIGHT BE SHORT DUE TO IT BEING LATE AT NIGHT, AND I WAS SCARED TO CONTINUE IT.

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    I stared at my brother with a questioning look as Liam came running into the room looking petrified. 

     "Z-Zayn!" He says completely and utterly out of breath. I stare at him for a second, my mind going wild. 

     "H-He can't be here." I stuttered out, looking over at Louis and than back at Liam. Liam generally cares about me, as does Niall. Zayn, though. I don't think Zayn ever cared about me in the long run, he never did... 

     "He is!" 

     Liam came closer to my bed -hospital bed- and took my hand in his, "Remember I won't let him hurt you nor will Louis. We will beat his ass up if he touches you, okay? And he can't anyway, he'd get arrested for assult of a female and public tresspassing." 

     I smiled at Liam, happily hugging him for his words -though it was threatening of calling the police, it was definitely a stress reliever. 

     "Try and get him to leave, please." I looked at my brother as I spoke the words -honestly, I didn't care who would go and do it, I just wanted someone to get Zayn out of here. 

     I live in fear of Zayn hitting me again, of him hurting me to the point that I want death. I've been hurt before, so many times before. At school, I was the one everyone took advantage of, the person that everyone seemed to hate. I don't want to be that person anymore, no more. I'm not anyone's floor-mat, they just can't hurt me anytime they please -they can't trample over me. 

     I don't want to be hurt by someone my brother is so close to anymore, and I don't want to hurt anyone anymore. I want to make things right with Zayn, though for now, I want him away from me. I want to make things right with Niall, I had led him on. I made him think that I actually loved him, when it was my adolesent mind telling me that I did. 

     I want to take back all my painful memories. I don't want the past to haunt me anymore, I don't want pain in my life. I want it all to stop. I want all those memories to be good ones, to be turned around into something I'd like, not something I'd dislike.

     Most of all, I want to be happy again -if I was ever happy. I want happiness to be the only emotion I can ever express. I don't want sadness in my life anymore, I don't want to be hurt. I want to be happy living with my brother while I am, or happily in a relationship with a husband and kids. I don't know, I just don't want what I have... Pain.

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~*Zayn's Point of View*~ 

    I fucked up, I ruined her. I had absoloutely no chance of friendship, or a relationship again. I had hurt her so bad, ruined her so much to where she couldn't possibly be happy again. It was my fault, too. I know I had hurt her to the brink of destruction. 

     I couldn't blame her if she hated me, even though I love her -which is true. I love her, I love her. I'm just highly incapeable of showing my feelings in any other way than pain. That's the only thing I know how to do, it's how I grew up. I grew up with my mother yelling, my sister's constatnly fighting. I grew up getting bullied for being Muslim. I did the only thing I knew could take the pain away. Fight.

     It's the only thing that soothed me, and to this day, it's the only thing that still does. It's rude, and I shouldn't be doing it, but I do. It's what I learned was most helpful instead of talking things through. I know, I need help for it, but I am too damn stubborn -if that's not the case, I'm just utterly stupid. 

     Anyways, Eleanor is too good for me. Too good. She could do much better with Liam or Niall, like she had before. Niall and her had seemed so happy when she was with him, when they were together. They were adorable, they were perfect. 

     If Eleanor were to date Liam, they'd be perfect. They both enjoy the same things, they are both obviously smart. It's a wonder why she chose me in the first place the first time. It's a wonder why she's not hitting me, telling me I am utterly stupid. 

     "Sometimes," She whispered, her sticky breath hitting my neck, "I wonder why I chose to date you."

     I bit my lip, "I wonder why too." 

     Her arms are draped around my back, her lips spreading kisses down my neck. I wondered if her brother knew she could be this dirty, so naughty. It was hot, on every level -but it still bothered me that no one knew this side of her, this hot side of her. Eleanor's dark side. 

     "You like this, don't you Zayn?" She taunted. "You like it when I lay kisses down your neck, palm you through your jeans?" 

     Eleanor continued to do this, teasing me for minutes on-end. I had enough of her teasing, it was getting to the point it was pissing me off. I was sexually fustrated.

     I slapped her face. This was the first time I hit her, well... slapped her. The first time I laid a finger on her in a harsh way. 

     "E-El, I am so sorry." I gushed. She ignored me, running. It was the first time she began to hate me, the first time I knew I wasn't right for her. 

    I groaned in annoyance. Why did I fuck this shit up? She could be with me, hugging me, cuddling with me, being mine. 

     Maybe, I should try not to fuck things up and be the nice guy for once instead of being the enemy.