Messages To Joe | J.S

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Tuesday November 7th 2018:

'Of course that's not what I want!' He shouted.

'Are you sure, Joe?'

'Yes. Yes I am because I love you!'

What? I couldn't believe what I had heard. It took me at least a minute to adjust.

'What?' I stuttered.

'I wouldn't have wanted to tell you like this but, I mean-' before I knew what I was doing, I threw my arms around Joe and kissed him. I kissed him. It was like we wouldn't see another tomorrow.

Amazing.

Not another word for it. Our lips moved perfectly together and I couldn't believe I'd never tried it before- that would've been weird though. Out of no where, Joe's phone rang and he jumped backwards, like he's just seen a ghost, out of the still open door, answering the call immediately. 'Yeah Caspar, we're coming. He's waiting,' he said the last part to me after he'd hung up the call.

'Wait, Jo-' I tried to grab his arm but he pulled away.

'We need to go,' he whispered gently, but he seemed upset. I was left so utterly confused as he hurried off to breakfast.

-

'So today,' Caspar broke the silence that had lasted down the stairs, to the buffet, and back at this table for over 15 minutes. 'We don't have any meet and greets but we do have a talk about the film,' he spoke through a mouthful of bacon and egg. 'So we'll be able to come back early and hang out, or maybe do some sightseeing? I have some sick boom I got at the airport that-'

'Maybe you guys can, I'm pretty beat,' I'd presumed Caspar would notice me playing with my food and ask what was up, but he didn't infront of Joe.

'Same,' Joe mumbled.

'Oh, um I mean, we can do it tomorrow instead then,' I felt so bad for Caspar, he was pretty much unaware of what had been going on but he was stuck right in the middle trying to repair whatever had happened.

When I got back up to my room, I fell face first on my unmade bed. All I wanted to do was curl up into a ball and cry because why did Joe seem embarrassed? Why did he jump so much? Why had he suddenly gone quiet?

A faint knock on the door frightened me out of my thoughts, 'come in,' I shouted, muffled by the duvet. I pushed myself up onto my elbows as Caspar walked in.

'What the fucks happened?' He sat down heavily on the bed, making a huge dent and causing me to readjust my position.

'Well, we fought, then he said he loved me by accident and we kissed and then when you called, he went all weird and I'm so confused.'

'He's a hopeless romantic.'

'I can see that,' I sighed loudly, I thought I was going to cry again.

'Don't cry,' Caspar lent down and gave me a sideways hug. 'Look, Joe said it himself, he loves you, but I think I know why he's gone all weird.'

'Well, why?' Calm down Amber for God's sake. 'Does he actually?'

'Of course, but Joe is strange, he's had so many relationships ruined by YouTube. There was someone who he was seeing for three weeks and then he liked an Instagram picture of hers and it was gone, just like that,' Caspar clicked his fingers, 'and then, another girl only about six months ago who he'd been seeing for around four months. He'd been so careful not to make another careless mistake but then, someone saw him walking around London and she freaked out and just stopped calling. I don't think he wants to ruin it with you. Like you've both spoken about a gazillion times, you're each others little secret and I believe he's afraid of losing you.' You wouldn't have thought it; Caspar being so incredibly sensitive and so observant and being able to think this way.

'Oh my gosh, but- hold up, how did you know that? I saw upright on the bed so we weren't conversing on such an awkward angle.

'I may have read the messages,' Caspar shrugged his shoulders loosely.

'You read the messages?!'

'That's not important right now! Look, I just think you need to be patient with him, all I can do is say I'll talk to him but I don't think Australia is where he's going to have his head straight, now, we're going to be late for that taxi, dry your eyes and meet us outside.' He stood up and headed for the door, 'you're sensible, Amber. You aren't like the others, i know you are not going to run away like them.' And with that, he was gone. I fixed my horrid looking makeup job and went downstairs to meet the boys.