Love Is Blind [boyxboy love story]

[Part 1] Chapter One: Scotomaphobia - Fear of Blindness

Part 1: To Be Fearful

"Sometimes we forget who we got,
Who they are.
Oh, who they are not.
There is so much more in love,
Than black and white."
-- Amos Lee; "Keep It Loose, Keep It Tight"

Chapter One: Scotomaphobia- Fear of Blindness

I used to be fearless.  I used to see the world differently, that the world is only scary if you make it out to be.  But it isn’t.  The world is full of fear, mostly from the people who live in it.  The world is full of scary things, things I never fully acknowledged.  People fear, but the people fear also cause fear and the dread never ends.

            The people who have phobias are common.

            But the people who cause them are even more common.

I shouldn’t have been in that damn car in the first place.  I should have walked home.  I should have kept going down the street instead of getting in that car with that strange man… but it was raining, I was scared and cold.  I was defenseless.  He knew that.

            I couldn’t tell the danger was there.  I couldn’t tell he was drunk, he acted so… sober.  He hummed as he drove, his eyes didn’t daze, and he didn’t have a drunken tone.  He asked me where I was going and I told him that I was going to a friend’s house.  He believed me… but I lied.

            I was going to the street I worked on.  The last years I was kicked out of my last foster family, I was desperate for money.  I didn’t get much at McDonalds or anything and even that I was unqualified for.  So I did the lowest thing a man could do.

            I touched other men, sometimes women, and got money.  I was what you called a prostitute.  It was wrong.  But I had to eat, it was either whore around or die.  So I chose option one thank you very much.  The man began to swerve but I didn’t take much notice, it could’ve been worse.  I was so very tired and I fell asleep, but I woke up to a violent swerve and I found the man yelling out as we slammed into another car, no a truck, and watching the windshield glass break into shards, flying into my face.  I screamed out as they flew into my eyes, shocking pain breaking out.

            I didn’t cry.  Maybe I did, I couldn’t tell if it was blood or tears… maybe it was both.  I just blacked out as the glass ran into my eyes and my head slammed forward and I hit my head on the dashboard.

            I felt even more pain and then… shadows covered my eyes.  It was like swimming in a sea of blackness.  I saw flashes run over my eyes, maybe I was waking up.  But I couldn’t tell what was real or unreal after a while.

            Was I dead?

            No, I couldn’t be dead just yet.  I haven’t had a chance to live.  I took a breath and felt my surroundings, it was soft.  I was in a bed.  I heard a beeping noise… a monitor?

            I finally realized I was in a hospital.  I waved my hands saw no shadows, no shapes, nothing… I couldn’t see.  I slapped my hands on my face, my eyes were open…

            I couldn’t see.

            I couldn’t see.

            “Hello?” I called out, desperately.

            No answer.  I was alone.  I couldn’t see.  Suddenly, filled with fear, I tug my legs to my chest.  I felt a needle in my arm and I tugged it out angry, ignoring the pain.  I ripped them all out but as I reached for the one in my chest, a hand grasped it, a female voice soothed me, “Stop, you’ll hurt yourself.”