Till Contract Ends Do Us Part [Completed]

Chapter 21

Emily

Rhiner Family Engagement Party
Part 2

He held me tightly against his chest. I just wanted this moment to continue. I just loved the way he smelled, it was the smell of home, love, and security.

I don't know what's going through his head. I know that I don't want to go to the party, I don't want to go to the wedding and I don't want to do anything with his family. I sound rude but I'm tired of being judged and that's all his family and friends will do to me today.

I'm so conflicted. I want to be with him. I want to spend my forever with him, but I know I can't. I can't, because we don't go together. But what if we did or do?

What if this all a sign that it's going to end badly and not just because I'm slowly breaking my heart by being with him each and everyday. I'm slowly losing myself to a man who may never love me. I know that my life is not the picture perfect one that I've always dreamed of, but maybe...I mean I thought that us being together would end my personal suffering. I thought that maybe we were in some cheesy romance book. One that would allow us to save each other and I want that, I really do, but this is life and not some dream.

Gosh, I just wish I could separate my feelings from my wants and needs to get through this, for him and with him. I want to stop being a baby and acting like the world revolves around me. I guess I'm so comfortable with the fact that someone can actually take care of me that I'm willing to break down in front of them. I'm allowing them to see me at my worst and catch me when I fall.

I love Collin but I can't let him see me like this or in this frame of mind. I can't let him know the truth or I could never see our relationship the same, he would hate me. I can't just pour my problems onto him. I can't let my sucky life ruin his happy future. I don't want him to ever feel like he was the reason for my unhappy life, future, and outcome.

Daniel, what have you done to me? Why must I break down all my barriers I've made to protect myself from being hurt anymore than I have already? Why must I fall in love with you and give you my heart to crush instead of keeping it locked up like I've done these past years? Why must I fall in love with someone that will leave me to never return again?

Daniel's hold on me tighten for a moment brining me out of my mind puzzling thoughts and revelations.

"No!" He said in an authoritative voice.

Was this the moment he would tell me that he loves me as much as I love him? Was this the climax of our story that's been waiting to happen?

I couldn't break free from his hold and part of me didn't want to. "Daniel, what do you mean no?" I said as I tried to recover from my sob fest from a few seconds ago.

He was silent, maybe he was going to sweep me off my feet and tell me he loves me. Yes, this is the perfect moment for that to happen. Oh how I wish it was going to happen.

"I-I just can't let you go." He said nervously.

"Why not?"

Ah, yeah I got him now. Men can be so silly sometimes. Can't he see that I want and need him?

"It's just if you leave me then, then I'll be the laughing stock of my family and yes that's worst than being fake married." He said as he released me.

What the hell! I thought he was going to tell me that he loved me and didn't want me to go, and that he didn't want to lose me.

I was wrong, I should have know that he meant it when he said fake feelings and no real emotions will be involved.