Tunes Of Betrayal: Temptations Playlist

Falling Apart

I roll over again for what seems like the millionth time. I barely got any sleep last night. I fell asleep crying, woke up crying, hell I even had a dream that I was crying.

I didn't even know I contained so many tears in my body, but I cried my eyes out and now my head is killing me.

I roll onto my back and bury my hands over my puffy eyes. I swallow the lump in my throat, refusing to cry anymore.

I'm stronger than this.

I didn't even cry this much when I found out about Carmen cheating on me.

I grab my phone and squint at the brightness as I dismiss another text from Ashley. I really can't talk to her right now. As much as I need her to hold me and kiss all this pain away, I'm not the one she's supposed to be showing that affection towards.

Hell, who am I kidding? I am hers…she's just not mine.

I look at the time and it's almost six in the morning, I groan as I swing my legs over the side and lean my elbows on my knees, burying my face in my hands.

I hear a soft knock on my door and whoever it is doesn't bother to wait for an answer.

Only Madison would do that and I'm not surprised when I hear her New York accent fill my ears.

I'm grateful for the smile that she makes appear when she asks if my ass is up.

"If I wasn't, I am now." I answer with a raspy voice.

Being friends with Madison for the past year, she's become accustomed to my different voices. My morning voice, my whiney voice, my trying to be tough but I ain't fooling anyone voice, and my voice post cry fest.

I sigh as she sits next to me and links her hands with mine. I look at her sadly and she pulls me into a hug.

I tried not to but it happened anyway. She rubs circles on my back as I cry some more.

She pulls away from me and gives me her infamous 'start talking' stare. I bite my bottom lip nervously hoping that will deter her from getting me to divulge last night's events.

It doesn't.

"You wanna tell me why you suddenly became a mute last night?"

"Do I have to?"

"Why you asking stupid questions?"

I groan and my tired voice fills the air and I tell Madison about my conversation with Stacy, then my conversation with Lexy which she gave unnecessary commentary on.

It helped my mood though.

Then finally about my breakup with Ashley.

I snort at the word breakup.

How do you break up with someone that's not even yours?

We weren't even in a real relationship.

At least not really.

It felt real though.

Every second of it. Every touch, kiss, smile, look. It all felt…feels so real.

The pain that comes with it definitely is unbearably real.

I release a heavy sigh wiping away a tear that made its way to my chin.

"You done?" I look at my best friend with knitted brows then roll my eyes nodding. "You did the right thing. I know that's not what you wanted to hear but the circumstance was shitty and but if it's as special as you say it is it shouldn't be done in secret."