HALSEY

75. I AM SO TIRED

I am so tired. I am just really fucking tired. Not in the "I'm so tired of this bullshit" kind of way, in the "I wish I could open up the window on this airplane so the air pressure would crush my throat like an invisible fist, and I could finally sleep in past 7 AM tomorrow" kind of way. There's 2 modes. There's: "shaking body, carbonated chest cavity, is the room turning black or am I just strung out on some imaginary caffeinated high?" And there's: "wow I can't feel my footsteps land on the ground, everything is moving very slow, my voice is resonating in my own skull and are you SURE my tongue belongs in my mouth?" I'm the kind of out of body you get when you walk into a fluorescent lit gas station bathroom when you're violently high (or you just woke up from a really long nap in the backseat of a car). So many time zones so many places to see. I'm gonna start writing again. I promise. But every time I touch my pen to paper I have nothing to say. My life used to pour from my fingers tips so quickly I could barely read my own handwriting as it slanted to the right so hard it threatened to turn sideways. But now I have nothing to say. A memoir full of poorly doodled flowers with mismatched petals. I dunno how to sing that though, so I better figure something out soon. I'm gonna start writing again. I promise. I promise. I promise. I pro

(via halsey's tumblr)