Text Messages // H.S

62

Don't hate me. Just love. All the love. Hehe okay enjoy.

I'm laughing at all the comments. Sorry babes.

Also I've updated the Niall one! Go check it out

Am I the only one who finds exclamation marks annoying?

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"Well, I have some bad news," the doctor sighed.

"Is he okay?" Louis and I asked in unison.

"Yes, yes. He's alive and healthy," he assured.

"Then what's the bad news?" Louis asked.

"He has lost his memory," the doctor explained.

"What?" I choked out.

"What do you mean?" Louis asked.

"He has amnesia. He can't remember anything from the past year," the doctor sighed.

I started crying. I couldn't help it. If he can't ember anything from the past year, then he can't remember me. Harry doesn't know who I am. He won't remember the text messages, the photos, Blue, our dates; nothing. It felt as if the world was crumbling around me. I could physically feel my heart breaking. I couldn't stop shaking and my breathing pattern got rapid.

He doesn't know who I am. He has no idea I exist. I can't go in there. It will be weird and awkward. He won't love me anymore. You can't love someone if you don't know if they exist. And to him, I'm nonexistent. He won't remember me, he won't know who I am. Going in there is useless.

"I'm going home," I mumble, before pushing past Louis and the doctor.

I walk down the long corridor. I can hear people shouting out my name, but they're irrelevant right now. I just want to go dig a hole and die. I want to lock myself in my room with ice cream and cry. I don't want to see nor do I want to talk to anyone. They won't understand.

I know you're probably thinking, this isn't a big problem, but to me it is. Harry is my world, I love him to much to comprehend. He's like lemonade on a hot summer day. You crave it. I crave him. I crave his presence.

I wait at a bus stop; not caring if someone sees me crying. No one but myself and an old lady are at the bus stop. She's completely obvious to my presence. The bus comes soon later and we board the public transport. It's not very full, only around ten people. I sit in the first free seat I see. Luckily no one sits next to me.

About five minutes later I was at the stop near my house. I step off the bus and wait for it to take off. After it leaves I walk across the road, to my house. I unlock the door and go inside. Luckily, my mother is still at work and my stepdad is away on a business trip.

I toe my shoes off before shrugging out of my jacket. I place my jacket on a rack before walking upstairs. I'm still crying but it's silent. I feel as if my whole life as just shattered. It's like it's dead. I feel like I'm dead but I'm still alive. That doesn't really make sense but that's how I feel. It's as if I'm in black and white while everyone else is in colour.

I lay on the floor of my room with my earphones in; listening to my playlist, that consisted of TØP, Fallout Boy, P!ATD and MCR. I lay there, feeling so lifeless. I always find myself on the ground while listening to this playlist when I'm sad. It's, kind of, my way of blocking the world out.

My tears stopped long ago. I feel like I'm crying but there's no tears, just a broken heart. I have no tears left. It's an awful feeling, feeling like you have nothing left. Sure, I have my mother and stepfather but they're always away working or at work.

My phone ringing is what brought me out of my thoughts. I looked down to see who was calling. Of course, it was Louis. I decline the call and start the music again. This went on for about four more times before I decided to find out what he wanted.

"What?!" I snapped.

"Are you okay?" Louis asked through the phone.

"What do you think? My boyfriend doesn't know who I am. So basically, we aren't together anymore because, like, who wants to date a stranger?" I cried; the tears returning.

"It's going to be okay," he assured.

"No. No it's not," I whispered before hanging up.

I started playing the music again. I don't know how long I was like that but soon my mother returned. I locked my door so they couldn't get in. I laid in a thought less state for the rest of the night, not getting any sleep.

The next morning I was still awake. My mother left early in the morning, expecting me to get myself ready for school. I did quite the opposite to that. I stayed on the floor with my, now flat, phone. I watched the shadows, from the trees out side, dance on the walls of my room. 

It's almost as if I am dead, just rotting on my bedroom floor. The only thing I feel is the constant pang in my chest. It's almost as if my heart is physically breaking and there it nothing I can do to stop it. It feels like I'm breaking but, in reality, I am broken.