Text Messages // H.S

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Emotional overload happening in...

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I grab my wallet, the small bag and my phone before hopping down the stairs. I quickly yelled out a 'goodbye' to my mum before exiting the house. I quickly ran across the front yard and jumped into Louis' car.

I was nervous. I didn't know how else to feel. Happy that Harry might live? Sad that this might be the last time I ever see him? Harry has become my everything in such a short amount of time. It's too soon to say goodbye. It will always be too soon to say goodbye.

Some nights I just laid awake wondering if Harry was even real or if it was just my imagination playing tricks on me. He was too good to be true. And now that something bad is happening, it's to hard to believe. Like, this is just a really long dream and I'm just waiting for it to end. I know this is reality but I really really wish it wasn't.

Louis offered to drive me to the hospital. Harry went in last night so they could keep an eye on him. I could tell how hard Louis was taking this just by looking at him. He looked scared. His eyes had dark circles around them, indicating that he hadn't slept for a few nights. His skin was pale and his hair looked dry and messy. I wish I could say he looked worse than me but I couldn't. I haven't slept in a week; makeup is the thing making me look decent.

"You okay?" Louis asks as we park near the hospital.

"Yeah, just a little scared," I admit.

"Same," he sighs.

We get out of the car and walk through the parking lot. It's quite full and we parked a while away from the building. We didn't talk, knowing both of us were nervous. I can't imagine how Harry feels right now. Louis keeps quite until we reach the building. He turns to me and stops me. I give him a questionable look but he just hugs me.

"I'm terrified, Liana," he whispers.

"So am I, but we need to stay strong for Harry, okay?" I reply.

"Yeah," he mumbles as we enter the hospital.

Like most hospitals, it's got large white walls. It's nothing amazing. There is a waiting area in the corner and a reception desk against a wall. Louis and I walk to the desk. He asks which room Harry is in and the lady gives us directions to the room. We have to take two elevators and then walk down to room 217.

When we got to his room, Louis entered first. His mum, stepdad and Gemma were all sitting on seats near his bed. They were happily talking, even though I could tell they were nervous; especially Harry. It all went silent after Louis and I whispered a small 'hi' each. Harry smiled at me and patted a spot next to him on the bed.

"Hey, love," he whispered, as Louis started a conversation with his parents and sister.

"Hey," I smiled.

"I love you, yeah? Forever and always," he said, kissing my forehead.

"Forever and always," I whisper, entwining our fingers.

***

Harry was taken to the operation room at 1pm. We could all tell he was nervous, even if he was trying to hide it. He was wheeled away on his bed after we all said our chorus of "I love you's". I kept telling myself Harry will be fine, but I had a feeling something would go wrong.

I didn't want to eat. I felt as if I ate, I would be sick. As much as I protested, I found myself in the hospital cafeteria. Somehow, Louis and Anne had managed to drag me here. I only got a cheese and ham sandwich with apple juice because I wasn't very hungry and it was the cheapest thing.

Anne seemed more nervous than everyone else, maybe even Harry. She seemed distracted and distant the whole time. At one stage, her and Gemma went for a walk. Robin, his stepdad, had to go to work but he's coming back tonight. And that left me and Louis alone. He was explaining to me about how the other boys took the news.

"He seemed really frightened to tell 'em. When he told 'em Niall cried. Liam seemed a big distant and Zayn freaked out. They were all huggin' for about twenty minutes before Niall's phone rang. Harry told 'em about the operation and they were all 'appy that he has a 60% chance of living. They're comin' around later," he explained.

"That's sounded like it was pretty intense," I commented.

"It was," he sigh, rubbing his temples.

"I hope H will be okay," I whisper.

"So do I," he mumbled.

***

Around 6pm Harry was in recovery but we weren't aloud to see him. Anne and Gemma came back around three o'clock. They got us all coffees because the hospital coffee tasted really bad.

Anne, Robin and Gemma are staying in a hotel across from the hospital and Louis and I are staying at the hospital. Robin and Anne left recently to book into the hotel. Gemma went to go get dinner for them.

We weren't sure when we would be able to see Harry so when we are aloud I have to call them. Anne has seemed to calm down a bit, same with Gemma and Louis. Robin isn't as bad as he was before. Gemma and Louis offered for me to see Harry before them. I protested though, saying I'll go last. You can have two people go in at a time, so Anne and Robin are going in first, then Gemma and then Louis and I.

The boys came around four o'clock but left an hour later. We all talked about our memories with Harry and all the dumb and funny things he has done. The more we talked about him, the more I realised I couldn't loose him. He meant too much to me.

I can't live with out him. He's just too perfect and I love everything about him. I love his unruly chocolate curls, his emerald green eyes, his oddly shaped nose that looks like a penis, his deep dimples. I love the way his nose scrunches up when he laughs, the way he sticks his tongue out a little before eating, the way his smile is crooked.

I can't get enough of Harry. I'm addicted to him. I'm addicted to his voice, kisses, face, personality and everything about that boy. He's so strong and happy. He's kindhearted and generous. There's nothing I hate about him. Harry is just so interesting. I love how he's taller than me. I love his cuddles. I love him.

"What are you thinking about?" Louis asked.

"Harry," I whispered.

"He'll be okay, yeah?" He reassures.

"Yeah," I sigh.

Even though he survived the operation, I still feel like something is or has gone wrong. And we know he isn't going to die and he's healthy but I'm still scared. I don't know why though, something just feels off. I feel like something bad is about to happen.

"Are you Harry's family?" The doctor asked.

"I'm his girlfriend," I say, shakily.

"Well, I have some bad news."