Why was Brian playing games with me? Why was he purposly trying to throw me back into the black whole I am now convinced he knows about? I swear I'll kill him.. Her...... Me? Self pain would ease me. Or would it? I can't let him know.. I just fucking can't.
Alex found her way to her front steps, climbing them in a hurry.. In a hurry to let out all her rage. she swung open the front door slamming it behind her.
She then made her way to the kitchen, grabbing the vodka from the freezer, and making her way upstairs to her bedroom, with no site of her mother anywhere. As she made it to her bedroom door, she slammed it behing her, ripped off the cover of the vodka she possesed, and took a long hard gulp as she fell to her knees, her face covered in black tears."I don't want to go down this road again", She cried out,"I'm afraid of where it's going to take me!" She took another hard gulp.
She then lazely stood up from the floor, using the side of her bed to help her up with one hand, as the other was being used to force alcohol down her throat.
*Phone buzzes*
She reached into her back pocket, sobbing.
Johnny: Are you okay?
Alex squinted at the message, her eyes flooded with tears and wet mascara. Her eyes then grew in anger as she screamed and threw her phone against the wall. Watching it shatter in pieces, she began to grab anything she could and just destroy it.
"I can't get him out of my head", She whispered to herself, "No matter what I do", she continued to whisper now looking at the vodka she just about finished, swirling what had remaind," Or how hard I TRY!", She screamed at the top of her lungs, slamming the liqour bottle into the mirror..
She then fell back to her knees and cried.
"I think I'ma go crash for the night", Johnny stated as he got up from the four seated couch.
Zachy was still in the recliner, Jimmy was passed out on the living room floor, and Val had already gone to bed.
"Pussy", stated Matt from the other end of the couch.
"Fuck you", Johnny replied.
They both chuckled and grinned.
"We still up for tomorrow?", Asked Zachy from the recliner.
"Yea, just hit me up an let me know where we're meeting." Johnny answered.
"Where are you two fuck heads going", Matt demanded, laughing.
"Gun range", Answered Zachy," Wanna come?"
"Hell yea!" Matt answered," Can I ride with you Christ?"
"Yea, sounds good", Johnny replied as he made his way to the door, opening it. "See ya guys tomorrow", He then closed the door behind him.
As he made his way down the front steps to his car, he realized Alex never replied to his message, he then dialed Alex's number, and sat in his car as it rang.
Voice Recorder: This person you are trying to reach is not availible.
He hung up and tried again..
Voice Recorder: This person you are trying..
"God dammit", He hung up the phone again.
He started the car, and stepped on the gas peeling out of Matt an Val's drive way, and headed to Alex's house.
"Maybe if I hurt on the outside, JUST a little bit...", Alex whispered to herslef while laying on her bedroom floor," Myabe the inner pain wouldn't hurt so much", she finished, clutching her stomach with tight shut eyes.
"Maybe..", Alex lazely sat up, still on the floor. She reached over to the pile of shattered glass, and grabbed a decent sized chunk. "Maybe...", She whispered to herself breathless.
She clutched the piece of broken glass in her right hand, opened her left hand, and staried into her palm.
On her knees, as low as she could be to the floor, she slowly moved the piece of glass to her left palm, and conected them. "I love you Brian.. Why don't you love me anymore?", She continued to whisper to herslef as she made the first incision. "Ah", She moaned in slight pain," My heart still hurts", She sobbed," Maybe a little deeper.."
She then pushed the broken piece of glass harder into the palm of her hand, seeing imidiate blood poor down her arm,"Ahhh!", She screached in horrifying pain.
"My heart!", She screamed,"It hurts, so much!"
She screamed in horror as she pushed the glass deeper, and deeper into the flesh of her hand.
Johnny parked the car on the curb, and ran to Alex's front steps. Ran into the house with out a knock and saw her mom passed out on the couch, surounded by beer cans.
He looked around as he heard a horrifying screach coming from upstairs," Oh my fucking.. God", He mumbled to himself.
He then ran upstairs to Alex's room, trying to gain enterance, but the door was locked.
"Alexandria!", Jonny yelled while pounding on the door,"Alexandria! Open this door right FUCKING now! Or I promise you, I WILL kick it down!"
Hearing nothing but screaching coming from her room, Johnny kicks the door until the lock breaks, and it swings open,"Alexandria!", Johnny yelled in horror at the site of broken glass, and blood covering her floor.
Johnny ran to Alex and landed on his kness next to her,"Alex!" He yelled towards her as he tried to grab her hands. She only struggled and kept fighting him off.
"Inside of me hursts Johnny, it hurts so much, I need to let it out!!", She screamed as she violently stabbed the reflecting glass into her hand as far as it would go. "Ahh!!!" She screamed in absolute horror as more blood poured from her wound.
Johnny finally got ahold of her hands, forced her to all the way to the floor, on her back, and got on top of her.
He forced her right hand under his left knee, and held down her left hand by her head, grasping the broken glass that she had forced in her hand, and he ripped it out,"UHHAAHH!", Alex screeched in complete fear.
Still holding Alex down, Johnny threw the bloody piece of glass across the room.
As tears grew in his eyes, he got up off of Alex, took the bandana out of his back pocket and wrapped it tight around her bloody hand. Alex didn't fight back any longer. She laid there on the floor, with blood stains on her left arm, and both hands.
"Alexandria..", Jonny started as he finished tighteing his bandana around her hand to stop the bleeding," I really wish you would talk to me.." Johnny spoke to her softly.
"My heart hurts Johnny..", Alex spoke very softly, breathless," I just wanted the pain to go away.."
Alex laid there on her floor, stairing blankly into nothing as Johnny had hold of her bloody hand.
"I know Andria, but extierior pain won't stop the inner pain..."
She just laid there, saying nothing as her eyes tried harder and harder to stay open.
"I love you Alexandria, I love you as a very good friend, and if I lost you, I..", Tears started down Johnny's face,"I would never forgive myself.."
"I love you too Johnny...", Alex replied breathlessly as her eyes closed.
As Johnny watched her fall asleep, he laid her injured hand on her stomach, and got up off the floor.
He stood be Alex, and bent down, sliding his left hand under her shoulders, and his right hand under her knees, gently picking her up off the bloody floor bridal style, and placing her on the bed.
He then began to take off her blood soaked jean shorts, revealing her panties, which wern't as bad, and pulled the black covers over her.
He then got into her bed, and laid very close to her, over the covers, and gently held her injured hand on her stomach, and fell asleep beside her.
