Eddsworld X Reader: Oneshot Policy Dicks 'n' Shit

Irresistible!Reader x Main Crew

You yawn as you sit up in your bed, wiping the sleep from your eyes. The house was surprisingly quiet. Your roomies should be up already. What time was it, anyways? You look over to your nightstand, eyes widening as you realize it was 5:30 am. Yeah, your roommates aren't awake. Good thing it was Saturday. No school or work. Nope. Just you and your bed. You snuggle back into your blankets, closing your eyes and trying to slide back into dream land. Though your attempts were in vain, they didn't seem to work. You shuffle around in your blankets, slipping off your bed and landing your feet onto the smooth, cold, hardwood floor. You sighed, walking across the creaky floor and out your door. She walked down the stairs and into the kitchen, looking out the window. Still dark out. You walked over to the pantry and took out some bread. You got some eggs from the fridge and a bowl from god-knows-where. You cracked the eggs into the bowl, using a fork to whisk and mix the yolk and whites together. "Makin' egg love. Egg love everywhere. And I mean everywhere." You giggled, taking some bread and soaking it in the eggs. You took out a pan, placing it on a stove burner and cranking the heat up to 4. Non-stick pan, of course. What other kind of pan would you use? A normal pan? Pssh. Naaah. You took a slice of soaked bread and slapped it onto the hot pan, waiting a moment before turning over the slice. Wow. That cooked fast. You repeated this with other slices until you had about five plates with two slices of your freshly made french toast. You set up the table with forks, butter knives and plates at each chair. You placed a bottle of maple syrup in the middle of the wooden table, looking over at a clock. 8:30.

"WAKE UP, I MADE BREAKFAST."

You heard the sound of feet running down the stairs and through the halls. Hre they come "STAMPEEEEEDE!" You yelled in your best Robin Williams voice, which you have been told was terrible. Three brunettes and a ginger sat in the chairs. Each were still in pajamas. Typical.

"Wow, this looks really good, ___!" Said the pun-master, Edd. You smiled and sat in your chair between the ginger and a certain red-shirted brunette.

"I woke up pretty early and couldn't sleep, had nothing to do, so I decided to make food. Originally, I was making it for me, but then I decided o be nice and act like I care about y'all." You smiled sweetly. All the males 'aaaaw'ed at you, making you giggle. You truly were an adorable, dorky, weird-ass, socially awkward, cute girl.

"It's still pretty nice of you, ___. I mean- we were probably just going to eat cereal. Thanks." Thanked Tord, smiling that odd cool-sort of smile at you.

"I was going to poison it"

"What?" All four looked over at you, wide eyed.

"I didn't say anything. Eat up, or I won't ever make you food again." You said with a poker-face. The males shrugged and began to pour syrup and eat up the eggy breakfast foods. You did the same, not paying attention to any of their dreamy staring. Once you moved in, it clicked pretty quickly that they liked you, what with the constant flirting and everything. You decided to ignore it an take them on as just friends. Of course, each tried to break the friend-zone barrier. Each were dying each time they made the attempt to crash through the thick walls of your love city. So there they were, stranded in the friendly desert. Poor them. Boo hoo, cri cri. "Anything you guys wanna do later on? Maybe go to the movies? I heard of thise one cool movie coming out. 'Project Almanac'. It's about time travel and stuff. Oh! Or maybe Paddington! I loved that show as a kid" ANd you rambled on, a warm smile on your face and a cheery tone in your voice. You giggled every now and then, each of them finding you even more adorkable with each syllable that you seemed to sing. Each sighed and nodded, not paying attention to what you were actually saying. The sound waves that spewed from your mouth was enough to put them in a daze!

"G-guys? Are you listening? You all look dumbstruck~!" You giggled. This snapped them all out of their trance, nodding at your words.

"We should go to the movies for sure." Said Tom, sitting up straight and smiling. "We should go see a horror movie! O-or.. Or we could just hook up your laptop to the T.V and watch one here and not waste money." Suggested Matt.

"If we're gonna hook up my laptop, then I wanna watch (Insert Movie Here)." You giggled. They all nodded.

"Whatever you want, ___!" Said Edd.

"Mhm! We're fine with it. As long as we're with you." Said Tord, staring at you with that lovestruck smile.

"Or I could sit alone in my room and watch movies by myself." You stood up and began to walk from the table. Of course, you kept that smile.

All four of the boys stood up, yelling in unison.

"NO!"

You laughed, turning to face them. "Alright. We'll watch what you guys want afterwards, m'kay?" You chirped. They all nodded. And so, the day went on with horror movies, romcoms, comedies, musicals, action movies, animated kid's movies and, of course, plenty of cuddles, hugs and snacks. Once your little movie-fest was over, you were clinging to Matt and Tord. You all had just finished watching the entire Paranormal Activity series. You were easily scared, and, were traumatized. After you got over your little fit of muttering and shaking, you had realized you had been sitting on Matt's lap, while hugging Tord's face into your chest. Of course, neither minded. Tord especially. You slipped off of Matt's lap, shoving Tord's face away form your bosom.

"Your chest is very soft." Said Tord, smiling all perverted like.

"You planned this!" You huffed, crossing your arms. Tord rolled his eyes.

"I wasn't the one who chose the movies. Edd did. Blame him for your cowardly squishy chest." He snickered.

"Don't bring me into this! I had no idea she would attack you with her breasts."

"I DID NOT ATTACK HIM WITH MY BREASTS!"

"I want to be apart of this conversation, too." Matt whined. Tom sighed. He sat down beside you, pulling you onto his lap and shoving your face into his chest.

"Shhh, __. Just. Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhut up and accept the warmth of my bosom." He chuckled.

"I hate all of you."

"We love you, too."

((im just reuploading this shit its like 11 and im lifted & eating some gotdamn goldfish. if u see this pls speak now bc i might write something tonight idk