Eddsworld X Reader: Oneshot Policy Dicks 'n' Shit

Original Crew X Reader X Rivals

Jon, Mark and Eduardo.

The so-called 'evil counterparts' of Edd, Matt and Tom.

You were supposed to hate them, you guess????

You weren't sure.

You were often caught between the two groups, more of a neutral character.

But, you often teetered more towards the 'evil' group.

Why this was, you're unsure.

But, you didn't really mind.

It was still as entertaining as it was with Edd's friends.

You found yourself caught in the middle of them now, simply standing there as the two green-clad males fought over who you belonged to.

"You guys-"

"They hang out with us WAY more than they do with you!"

"Guys-"

"Out of pity, maybe! (Name)'s ours!"

"Guys-"

"WE SAW THEM FIRST"

"THAT'S A LIE AND YOU KNOW IT"

"HOLY SHIT WILL YOU BOTH LISTEN TO ME FOR FUCK SAKE"

They all directed your attention towards you, eyes wide.

"Jesus Christ! You guys GOTTA stop arguing over me, it's stupid! My friendship isn't something that you can just, argue to win over!"

"bUT-" Edd began.

"NO BUTS SHUT UP"

"(Naaaaame)!" Matt whined.

You sighed, massaging the bridge of your nose. "This is not something I'm putting up with today."

"Then, who're you gonna put up with? Us, or them." Mark asked, arms crossed.

You raised an eyebrow, scowling.

You reached into your pocket, and pulled out a nickel, tossing it to them.

"Heads or tails."