Dear No One (Bon x Rin)

45. Panic

Azreal's face remained neutral, though Shima was sure that the man was happy to see him. He was donned in the same orange jumpsuit as Shima, pushing himself off of the door frame and making his way towards the bunk.

"Yeah, they did finally catch me. Otherwise I wouldn't be standing he looking at that mug of yours." The blonde sat down next to the pinkette, eyes locking with Shima's honey Brown orbs.

"I hear that you completely took out the Grigory."

Shima chuckled. "That ain't why I'm here."

Azreal raises a curious brow. Shima had never committed crimes that weren't gang related before. If he was in here for something besides gang murder and robbery then something had been serious enough to urge him.

"I murdered Reiji Shiratori and 28 of his crew members."

Azreal was familiar with Reiji and his crew, but they weren't really a gang. They were just a bunch of rich kids in the golf club who did things like spray tagging and got away with them.

The grin on Shima's face contradicted him, however.

"You're a filthy liar. Someone set you up?"

"Not at all."

Shima was doing this of his own free will. It wasn't Yukio's fault that he was unstable.

The truth was really that Shiratori provoked Yukio. Constantly calling him from blocked numbers and threatening both him and Rin. Pushing up on him on his way to and from class.

Finally, when Yukio was coming back from the gas station on a mission to buy some cigarettes for Shima, he was snatched into the back of Shiratori's car once he was away from the camera's line of vision.

Shiratora was naked, trying to hold Yukio down and force himself on him. Yukio panicked, fighting back with all of the strength he had when he had accidently snapped Shiratori's neck.

He had come back to Shima that night on the verge of shock, hyperventilating and trembling like a leaf in the wind. He was so choked up on his own tears that he could barely use words to explain himself. Shima eased his worries by promising that he would take care of it.

But then those idiots started flooding in.

Every day they would have at least 2 or 3 of Shiratori's crew show up in Yukio's classes or at their home, demanding that Shima give Yukio to them or die.

So Shima ended them with bullets.

In fact, the real reason why Yukio had been so upset when Shima was arrested was because Shima wouldn't let him take responsibility for it. Shima would now waste his life behind bars when he promised he'd take care of it. Yukio never imagined that he meant to do this. Guilt ate him alive and he couldn't be reminded of Shima every day.

"What about you? What did they book you for?" Shima asks. Azreal hums in thought a moment as if he's trying hard to remember.

"Murder of police officials, assault with a deadly weapon, possession with intent to sell, and possession of heavy narcotics." The blonde was nonchalant, shocking Shima even more than his list of felonies did. Azreal would be burried beneath the prison with charges like those.

"Holy shit, man. You're a maniac."

"It's a pleasure I'm so very guilty of."

#

Bon tossed back another beer, laying his head in Kinzo's lap. The older blonde strokes Bon's hair leaning back against the couch and allowing Bon to silently sob into the fabric of his jeans.

He understood that Bon was in pain.

Bon had been arrested multiple times because of Shiratori, raped by some crazy woman who wanted to have his babies, threatened by Rin to leave him, lived through the kidnapping of his daughter and his son and nearly died trying to get them back all while trying to smile and hold his family together.

What did he get in return? Disapproval.

He risked his life, his football career, his education--his EVERYTHING for Rin and Rin thought that it wasn't good enough.

Of course he had said some harsh things to Rin that he didn't mean, but Rin wasn't even trying to be considerate of his feelings.

He wasn't the one who had to go through such treacherous waters in order for things to be okay.

He forgot that BON was the foundation that held it all together for them.

Bon made compromises and promises and he constantly delivered and yet it wasn't good enough for Rin. Rin wanted him to leave his family. Juzo, Kinzo, Konekomaru, and even Amaimon and the rest of his team. Most of all he wanted for Rin to leave his best friend behind. Like he was supposed to pretend like he never existed.

Bon was so worked up that night that he nearly struck Rin with his hand. He was forced to channel it elsewhere though because no matter how angry he was, he would never let hands on Rin. He promised that never in eternity he would do so.

"Bon...man, go home and talk to him about this. You just stormed out on the kids, too. That couldn't have been the best idea."

"I know..."

Bon laid still, trying to calm his tears before sitting up straight. Kinzo handed him a tissue and allowed him to clean his face, turning away so that he couldn't see Bon's face. He knew how undignified it was to be a man and have your teammate watch you cry like a baby.

"I don't know if I can take much more of this."

There was a silence, mostly because Kinzo didn't have an immediate answer. He wasn't used to seeing Ryuji like this--not since Shima had been put in juvie when they were 14.

"Listen. You're stronger than that. I know it, man. If you feel like you can't handle it anymore, come here. Just like you did tonight. We're your bros. We're here to help." Kinzo smiled down at Bon who gave him a shaky grin in return.

"Right. Thanks, bro."

#

Rin didn't remember falling asleep, but he woke up with a start. Not because of any loud noises--in fact it quite the opposite. It was entirely too quiet around the house. He scrambled out of bed and gripped the edge of the crib.

The babies were gone.

His heart began to thump rapidly against his ribcage and suddenly he felt as though he couldn't breathe. Tears welled up in his eyes.

"I can't even protect my own kids! Why is it so hard for me to do anything right?!"

He kicked the crib over, screaming and kicking at the wall until he felt his chest tightening restrictively. He collapsed at the foot of his bed, vision blurring and struggling to breathe.

Rapid footsteps echoed through the hall as Rin started to lose consciousness.

"Rin?!"

Yukio. Yukio found him.

"Holy shit, Rin! Can you hear me?"

Rin gave his brother a half nod when he was flipped over onto his back and pulled into Yukio's lap.

"It's okay. You're just having an anxiety attack. I need you to breath in through your nose and out through your mouth, okay? Breathe, Rin."

Rin did as he was told as best he could, eventually regaining his his senses. He rested himself against Yukio, feeling a bit nauseous.

"Ai...and...Ren..."

It suddenly dawned on Yukio that Rin had panicked because the kids weren't there when he woke up.

He should have left a note.

"I...I have them. You looked so tired and I just wanted you to have a break so I took them to the park for a bit. I'm sorry I caused you such panick, I should have told you."

Rin's shoulders shook as he let out tears. Tears of relief. Tears of exhaustion.

"Where's Bon?"