Waking Up

Home Sweet Tulsa

Chapter Nineteen

For at least a minute, I stood outside the Curtis house. I opened the gate and began to walk up the path. The front door opened and out walked Two-bit. "Reagan?! Is that really you?!?" he dramatically joked. He picked me up and twirled me in a hug. "We've all missed you," he added and waved goodbye.

My heart was beating faster and my stomach felt like butterflies. I knocked on the door.

"Come in!" I heard Darry say. I smiled hearing his voice again. I walked in and it seemed like all sound was sucked out of the room. Steve, Soda, and Ponyboy were all near the TV and Darry was in the kitchen.

"Is this gonna be awkward the whole time?" I asked. Soda laughed.

"No, its just.... its been a year since we've seen you. You used to hang out with us all the time," he said. With that, Ponyboy stormed out of the house and sat on the porch.

"Is he ok?" I asked, concerned. Darry walked in the room.

"Not particularly. You might want to go talk to him about that..." he trailed off. I opened the front door and sat down next to Ponyboy.

"Whaddya want?" he snapped. I was taken aback by the rudeness of his tone.

"I want to know what on earth is wrong. I thought we were friends, you can tell me!" I held back my tears. His once sparkling eyes were now dull and angry. He sighed. "Maybe Johnny will tell me.... or did you not tell him either?!" I added. His jaw clenched in anger.

"You wanna KNOW what happened when you were gone?!?!" he fumed. I nodded, scared. "It was about a month after you left......"

The jumping, the movies, walking some Soc girls home, sleeping in the lot, getting in trouble at home, running away, killing a Soc, seeks help, hides away in a church, church catches on fire, save kids from fire.....

It shocked me. It sank in that Johnny and Dally were dead. Once again, my palms met my face as I began to cry. "It wouldn't have happened if you were there!" he yelled. "If you weren't gone, I wouldn't care about talking to Cherry because I was trying to move on! If you weren't gone, you could've helped us to not get in this mess!!! With you there, you could've prevented the disasters!!!!" he shouted.

"Do you know how much I wanted to come back?" I screamed through my tears. "I had NO friends in Texas and I got bullied every day!!! I got so lonely, I sometimes pretended you and Johnny were there with me, sometimes even Dally!!!!!" He watched as I wiped my tears away. "I never wanted to leave. It was a consequence to a stupid reaction. My brother's right, I am a disappointment." I cried into my hands.

"Reagan...... I'm sorry. I shouldn't blame it on you. Its not your fault," he said with his gentle hand resting on my back. I took my hands away from my face and reached in my pocket. I pulled out my note from the bus and handed it to Ponyboy. He read it and his sad eyes fell upon me. Back was the sparkle in his eyes that lured me before.

"This is what you had to put up with?" he asked. I nodded. He held me in his arms. "I shouldn't have yelled. I'm really sorry. I'm just so angry about both my friends' deaths that I felt like I needed someone to blame." His embrace comforted me.

"So that Cherry girl never saw Johnny?" I asked. Pony shook his head. "Then why'd you like her?" Ponyboy shifted uncomfortably.

"She was pretty and nice, but most importantly... she took my mind off you. Everyday Johnny and I were hoping you'd come back but you didn't. We started hanging out with Dally a lot more to fill the void and it worked for a while." He paused. "You see.... when you were still here, I may or may not have had a crush on you. That's why I started liking Cherry, she made me not miss you as much." I gazed into Pony's eyes.

"I had a crush on you, too. I just didn't want to say anything to ruin the friendship," I admitted. He smiled. We both stood up and he wrapped his arms around my waist. I placed my hands on his shoulders as he leaned in. I leaned in, too. His soft, gentle lips pushed into mine. His lips were sweet just like him. We both pulled away.

"Now....." he said. "It would only make sense to date." He winked jokingly.

"Ok," I said, still in his caring arms. "If something ever happens to our relationship, I just want you to know that you'll always be my friend. Even if someday we're married, you'll still be my friend."

For the rest of the evening, we watched the sunset, holding each other close.