Waking Up

Down

Chapter Fifteen

When I got home, I locked myself in my room and did my homework. I didn't eat dinner and I read until I decided to take a shower. Soon after, I locked myself back in my room and read. Reading was my only escape from the real world.

'Whatcha reading?' Ponyboy asked. I showed him the book of poems. 'Very nice.' His smile was wide and charming. Johnny sat down next to Ponyboy.

'I know you miss us,' said Johnny, 'but its not exactly healthy if you pretend we're here all the time.' I sighed.

'Its only because I'm lonely and you guys were the best friends I'd ever had,' I cried. I looked up and my hallucinations were gone.

At six the next morning, my alarm clock woke me up again as usual. I made my bed fast and got dressed. The only thing I had for breakfast was a piece of toast before I walked to the bus stop. On the bus, I sat alone. People whispered about me behind my back, saying how I must be a freak for wanting to be alone all the time. It bothered me, but I just shut it out. I concentrated on the road ahead.

Something grazed past my head; a paper ball. It landed by my feet. Carefully, I picked it up and uncrumbled it. 'Hey lonely loser,' it read. I snapped my head around to see who threw it. A particular group of laughing boys caught my attention. "You think this is funny? Social ridicule is funny to you?" I yelled. "I guess you wouldn't understand anything other than that you dumb a-"

"Sit down!" the bus driver said, cutting me off. I slouched back in my seat. All the kids on the bus were laughing at me. Gee, I loved Texas already...

The main talk of the school that day was how I had actually said something instead of just sitting and breathing. I didn't want to be around any of these ding bats. I hated it here. So far, I had survived 5 months, which was half a year. However, I was used to being bullied and picked on, it was nothing new. It was an everyday thing, so when it came around each day, I wasn't surprised.

At lunch, I sat alone. In solitude, I ate my half of sandwich. I felt like I didn't deserve to eat, but I didn't want to pass out. I sensed a presence next to me, probably someone here to make fun of me. "Please leave me alone," I muttered. When the person didn't move, I looked up. It was a girl about my age; quite a few zits, braces, but a kind face. "Sorry," I apologized.

"Its fine," the girl said. "I just wanted to say congrats on standing up to the bullies." I smiled. "They've bothered me plenty of times, too," she went on. "I'd never have the courage to do that." She got up and left, leaving me alone once again.

Lunch was over and everyone headed to fifth period. 'Off to math for me,' I thought. I took my books out of my locker and started heading to class. A few jocks passed by and bumped into me on purpose, causing me to drop my books. I picked them up without a word. As I headed in the opposite direction, I heard their snickering.

'They're idiots,' said Delaney. 'They don't realize that you chose to be on your own, they don't realize you're cool enough for that.' I smiled at her imaginary remark and continued to the classroom.

For the rest of the day, no one bothered me anymore. I was relieved. I couldn't take it anymore. Everyday, I came home upset. Matt didn't ask if I wanted to talk about it, for he had realized he had been wrong to take me away from my friends.

The next day at lunch I was alone again. I was already used to it, I was just hoping someone would at least try to make an effort. With my tray in hand, I walked to my usual table. Looking straight ahead, I didn't see what was about to happen. A girl stuck her foot out, causing me to trip. Food ran down the front of my shirt. I stood in horror as the whole cafeteria laughed at me. Without a moments notice, I dashed out of the cafeteria, crying.

I sat on the toilet lid and tried to get the food off my shirt. I was silently sobbing, with no one to comfort me. No Johnny, no Ponyboy, no Delaney, nobody.

I remained in there until the end of the day. As soon as school let out, I ran home.

Now more than ever, I wanted to go back to Tulsa.