My Old Friend- IMAGINE ANY BOY

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I could barely wrap my mind around it. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. He’d said forever, the diamond ring sparkling on the fourth finger of my left hand was a constant reminder of that promise, yet he’d thrown that all away. He’d been cheating on me, for months. I’d known about it for at least two, God knows how long it had been going on for before I caught on. 

Two years and eleven months we’d been together. From the day we met up until about 4 months ago he’d tell me everyday that I was his “dream come true”, how he could barely breathe without me, that I was the other half of his soul- that I was worth more than the world could ever give him. I guess somewhere in the last few months I’d lost my worth. Maybe he didn’t love me anymore, or he was bored with me. I just wish he would have ended things with me before picking up with someone new- I’m pretty sure that it would have hurt less. It would have killed him to hear him tell me we were done, but now I felt like I was suffocating, being crushed under an invisible weight gasping for breathe, like everything around me was closing in until there was no oxygen or room in my world. 

Two years into our relationship he’d surprised me by asking me to be his wife, he’d said I was his forever and that if he couldn’t call me his wife he would never be satisfied. It had been one of the most romantic weekends I’d ever experienced (and there had been quite a few). He’d taken me to Bora Bora where we could escape from the world for a little while and just enjoy each other. Our first night there he’d taken me to dinner at a restaurant right on the beach, and while the sun set he got down on one knee, told me how much he loved me, and asked me to marry him. I can’t think of a time in my life when I was happier. But that’s all over now. 

Things changed between us suddenly and without warning. There was no big fight or argument- things had been perfect, or at least they seemed to be, until one night he didn’t come home after a night out with the boys. Usually I would join them but I couldn’t because I had an early meeting the next day that I had to prepare for. I didn’t think much of it- he told me that they’d just stayed out really late and he’d crashed at one of the boys’ place. I dismissed it and didn’t think of it again, but after that night he didn’t come home things began to change between us. 

He started being at home less and was always working late or going out with the guys. When he was home he was distant and withdrawn- he barely spoke or listened to me, I was lucky if he even acknowledged my existence. He stopped holding me when we slept, he used to wrap himself around me so tightly it seemed as if we were one person, now he slept on the opposite side of the bed as if he couldn’t be far enough away from me. He stopped telling me that he loved me, stopped giving me little kisses or touching me just because. He never held my hand in public- hell, he barely even wanted to be seen with me in public. He ceased to be the man I fell in love with and had become an empty emotionless shell, at least around me. He was the same around everyone else, but he could barely stand to be in my presence. 

I started checking up on him after as he continued to distance himself. Not my proudest moment, but I could shake the feeling that he was cheating on me. I began checking his phone to read his texts, but he must have been deleting them because the texts I’d find in his inbox were always days old. When he started telling me that he’d have to work late every night, I tried to ask him why, but he just yelled at me to mind my own business, so I began following him when he’d leave the house. That’s how I caught him the first time. He’d walked up to her flat and knocked and this stunning brunette answered the door and immediately flung herself into his arms and kissed him passionately. He held her close and kissed her the way he used to kiss me, caressing her sides with his hands. I could barely stand to see it, but the overly familiar way they greeted each other proved to me that this had been going on for some time.

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