Gift Of A Friend [Demi Lovato and Selena Gomez - Delena/Semi fanfic]

Chapter 7 - Believe In Me

I got up and laid the blade under the soap. I step out of the tub, unlock the door, walk threw my room, unlock that door and went downstairs to check on Maddie. She was asleep on the couch. I grab my stuff that I threw in at the door an the lock the front door because I forgot to. I went back upstairs and was in my room. I shut the door, sat on my bed and started on my homework. I put my earbuds in my ear, somehow music helps me with everything. It helps me focus; it's hard to explain. I had homework in math, that's the only class we have homework in besides english but my teacher wasn't there today so we didn't have homework.

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I got done with my homework, close my book and sat it on my night stand. I laid back on my bed and stared at the ceiling and started thinking. I took my ear buds out, and that was a mistake. It was all negative thoughts, once they start it can't stop. Every thought made a tear. I couldn't take it anymore. I went into the bathroom and lock the door. I grab a towel under the sink and sat it it on the counter. I took my clothes off and stared at my reflection. Why is my mind; my body doing this to itself. I questioned everything. I got so mad at myself that I punch my self in the stomach which made me throw up, luckily I was at the toilet in time. I wipe my mouth off with my arm and then started my shower water. I got it once it got warm and just leaned against the wall as the water fell on me. I wash my hair and then rise, I grab the soap bar getting ready to wash my body then I saw my blade. I just...stared at it. I grab the blade and drop the soap in the tub. I sat down in the tub as the water from the shower head was still running. I laid out my left wrist and laid the blade on it. I hesitated whether to do it or not, but there should be no thinking to it. I push hard onto my skin and pulled it across; over and over again and did the same on my other wrist. As the water fell on my cuts I was in pain. The water made my cuts burn as they was bleeding. I felt like I was sitting in a bloody bath. I stood holding my wrist out in front of me letting the blood wash off till it stop. I was starting to feel sick. I knew I was about to throw up. I open the shower curtain fast and raise the lid up and puke. My throat burned along with my wrist. I flush the toilet and grab my towel off the counter and dried myself off and put my hair up in the towel. I turned the water off then grab my clothes and put them on. I open the door as I turned off the light and went into my room. I sat on my bed and look at my wrist thinking about how to cover the cuts up. I walk over to my dresser open the drawer and grab some of my bracelets that says "boobies Rule!" It was a breast cancer bracelet. It was big enough to cover my cuts and then I grab another bracelet like that; that has a mustache on it. I went to my bathroom again, grab my make up bag and put makeup over my cuts. I grab my blade out of the shower and put in in my make up bag and put my makeup bag under the sink. Then I decided to go check on Maddie. It was almost time for everybody to be home. I jog into the living room and check on Maddie but she wasn't on the couch but the TV was still on.

I turned of the TV "Maddie!" I yelled, but I had no response. I went and look in her room, she wasn't there.

"Maddie!" I yelled again as I walk by the doors that go outside in my backyard. She was out there playing with bubbles. I open the door and went out there. I was upset but I was keeping my calm.

"Maddie." I said while squatting down and putting my hands on her shoulder, "You don't go outside without asking me, ok?"

She look down and said "Ok."

"Alright." I said standing up and putting my hand on her back, "Come in. I'll let you play with my hair."

"Ok!" She said excitingly and ran inside. I followed her into her room and sad down on her little thing bed. She ran and jump on her bed and started brushing my hair out. Maddie is so lucky, she young and she doesn't have to worry about anything, but she will soon and I'm going to be there for her like no one was for me. I have no idea what she is doing to my hair but she is giggling and I know it's going to look odd.

"Ok done!" She said pushing me off the bed making me go to the bathroom in the hall. Maddie room is downstairs with momma and daddy's room because when she has nightmares she runs in there and they share that bathroom. Dallas and I have separate rooms upstairs which are bigger and we have our own bathrooms. I walk in the bathroom and turned on the lights and look in the mirror.

"Oh. My. God. Madison!" I said. She look at me with a smile.

"I love it!" I said.

"You do?" She ask with a confused face.

"Yeah, I'm going to wear this to school tomorrow." I said trying not to giggle.

"You are?" She said raise her eyebrow with a smirk.

"No, are you silly!" I said grabbing her and carrying her upside down all the way into her room.

She was laughing and yelled "Put me down!"

I threw her on the bed and then jump on top of her and started tickling her.

"Demetria Devonne Lovato!!!" She giggled with a screamed.

"Madison De La Garza!!!" I said mocking her and then started tickling her again.

"Got off of me! Your heavy!" She yelled. Once she said that it hit me and I frozen. I slowly got off of her and sat beside her on the bed. The door bell rang and Maddie jump off the bed and yelled "Mommy's home!" I jump off the bed and follow Maddie downstairs and open the door.

"Hey girls." She said and hugged us, "I got Chinese tonight!" She said and raised up the bags. Daddy came in behind her.

"Daddy!" Maddie yelled and ran to him he squat down with her arms open and pick her up and spun her around.

I walk up to him"Hey dad." I said. He had Maddie in one arm and he hug with the other.

"Let's got eat." Daddy said letting go of me and we headed to the dinning room.

Everyone sat down and got there food and began eating. I wasn't hungry buy I ate anyway.

"Where's Dallas?" I ask look up at mom across from me.

"She is eating out with that guy and his family tonight." Mom said before putting noodles in her mouth. I took a bite of my noodles every time I tried to swallow my throat was sore. It was sore like when you're horse it was a different sore, but I swallowed it anyway. I look at my wrist and you can see my cuts. I quickly put my arms in my lap.

"Oh yeah, Mom, Selena is visiting next week." I told mom.

"Ok, we need to plan something together. How long is she staying?"

"She didn't say." I said and took a deep breath, "We'll I'm full and sleepy. Thank you for the food momma." I said and grab my plate and threw in the trash that was under the sink and headed upstairs to my room. I shit the door behind me and look at the clock on my phone. It's 8:39pm. I puff and lock my phone and sat it back on my night stand. I was already in my PJs. I walk into my bathroom and lock the door. I grab a washing rag out from under the sink and turn the sink on. I got my acne wash and wash my face, once I was done I lifted up the toilet lid and put my fingers in the back of my throat and began to force myself to throw up. My throat continued to burn. I stop and flush the toilet. I got up unlock the bathroom door and walk over to my bed and got under my covers on my bed and turn off the light on the other side of my bed that sat on another night stand. Once it was pitch black, that's when the negative thoughts began. I laid there and just stared at the wall and started asking myself questions that I didn't know the answer to or didn't want to believe.

Why can't I stop?

How would my family react? Will the treat me different?

What about school? What they say I always believed. Fat, useless, worthless, cunt, bitch, ugly ass hoe.

I never told Selena what people say to me ask school because one time I told my best guy friend that an grew up with and he stood up for me then he started getting pulled. Later on he killed himself & I can't take losing someone else or see Selena go threw this pain. She can barley stand it if she get's yelled at.

How would Selena feel? Would she treat me different as well?

I just laid in my bed that night and cried and cried. I cried myself to sleep and was wishing I didn't wake up.