LIFE WITH HIM <3

twenty nine, thirthy and thirty one

twenty nine

we spent an hour having dinner, can you imagine that. After having dinner we went to our most favorite place where we always hang out during our free time, the cemetery.

 We always go here to visit the most important persons in our life, my mom and his sister. As what i have said, my mom died when she gave birth to me and as for her sister, she died in a car accident trying to save lucas.

"do you miss her?" i asked lucas while watching him arrange the flowers.

"sometimes." he answered then looked at me. He has that cute smile that i really love. Im being malandi i know. "but i know she wants me to be happy. And im doing what she wants. Panget naman diba kung magmumukmok ako habang buhay."

i smiled, tama nga naman si Lucas. His sister sacrificed for him para mabuhay siya, para makita ang kagandahan ng mundo, kapag naiwan pa siya sa kahapon parang mababalewala lang ang buhay ng ate niya.

We have visited my mother's tomb and now were here on the grassy field. Mejo gabi na but i didnt dare to look on my watch. Basta ang alam ko masaya ako ngayon dahil tahimik ang mundo ko.  Im just staring at the sky, ang ganda ganda kasi ang daming stars , napaka peaceful.

Though...

Namimiss ko si Alexis. Hay nako nga naman. Ano ka ba annila matauhan ka na nga! May sheena na sya!

"how are you annika,the whole truth." lucas brought me back to reality.

I didnt look at him but i answered his question.

"Im not okay, coz i im inlove again"

"so mahal mo na nga siya.To be honest, I thought you were just using him to make me jealous." i laughed at what he said, coz he was dead wrong "no really, i thought you were. But...why are you not okay?"

why am i not okay? Is it because the one i love is with someone else? Is it because he doesnt love me back? Or....

Is it because im afraid to be hurt again, which is what im feeling right now? Argh!! Nakakconfuse naman.

"Maybe im afraid to get hurt again." there i said it.

I felt something cold roll down my face.

"he's not like me annika. Dont think that all guys will hurt you just because i did. I think you should know how to open your heart again. Im not saying na hindi ka padin nakakapag move on but you need to be happy because you deserve it annika." napalingon ako sa kanya. I cant believe na ang ex ko ang maglalagay ng sense sa utak ko ngayon.

napayakap ako kay Lucas. And he wiped my tears

"thank you Lucas, very much."

"wala yun, siguro yun nalang ang magagwa ko sa mga pananakit na naramdaman mo ng dahil sakin." he hugged me tight then he let me go. Tumayo siya and nakatitig lang ako sakanya. "tara na, baka magalit yun o baka hinahanap kana." then he offered his hand with that sweet smile on his face.

I smiled too. Para lang dati, nung bago maging kami, nung bago maging complicated ang mga bagay bagay samin.

I took his hand then we went home.

Thirty

pagdating ko ng bahay napaka tahimik, sigur tna si alexis. Or baka wala pa, baka nakikipaglampungan pa kay sheena. Shocks watta word?! Anyway, walang tao sa living room pero pag akyat ko nakabukas ang pinto niya and he was packing his stuff. Nako! Maglilive-in na sila ni sheena! Then sumakit bigla yung ulo ko and all i could see was darkness.

Nagising ako sa sobrang maliwanag na place. Where am i? Patay na ba ko? Wow exage naman masyado ang imagination ko. Teka kwarto toh ni alexis ah napatayo ako agad and saw him still packing his stuff.