Chapter 1

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FORMERLY I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU NOT. I THINK I'M GOING WITH NOT. 

Rachel's P.O.V. 

It was Sunday, 2:00 A.M and I was lying in bed trying to sleep. Tomorrow is the first day of school and I want to be awake for it. But all my mind could process was Adam. I know that it's not healthy to think about him this often, still. He died 3 years ago in a car accident that not only took his life, but my fathers as well.

Flashback

"Mrs. Anderson, I am so sorry." A voice said over the phone.

"What? Sorry why?" she asked, scared.

"Your husband was in a car accident. The car burst into flames upon impact and, he burned to ashes along with a 12-year-old boy, Adam, I think was his name. I heard he was a good friend of your daughter; give her condolences on my part, please. Her father and her best friend, all in one day, it must be hard." She said and my heart burst into a million little pieces.

"What?" I screeched. "Dad? Adam?!" My mother handed me the phone. "Please tell me you're joking!" I begged.

" I'm sorry, I wish I was but Adam is dead, along with your father." Dead, dead, dead, dead. I repeated that word over and over again in my head every single day of my life.

Present

I tried to commit suicide a day after the funerals. My father and my best friend were gone; my mother was too wrapped up in her work to care for me. I think she was just trying to hide the pain. I wanted to permanently end the pain, but my mother found me and I realized neither Adam nor my father would have wanted me to try to take my life away, no matter what.

So now, I lie in my bed trying to sleep, but my head is filled with way too many thoughts. So I did what I always do when I can't sleep. I imagined Adam was right here with me, at our annual 'last day of freedom before school starts' sleepover. That night I dreamt that my dad and Adam were still with me.

First day of school

"Come on, Rachel! Hurry up, we're going to be late!" Kia hissed.

"Eh, I'm coming, I'm coming!" I yelled. "It's not MY fault YOU decided to park a mile away from the school!" I snapped.

"Hey! I parked there because it's nice and shady, and the spot you wanted wasn't." she said matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, the car is in the shade. We're not. We have to walk in the sun to get to the school. If you had parked in the spot I pointed out, we would be nice and dry by the time we got to school, not dripping sweat!" I ranted.

"Ewww! We are not!" She squeaked. "And if you would quit your complaining you'd realize we're already here." She said.

Kia opened the door and we walked in. The school was big. Much bigger than our old high school. I am 15, Kia is 16. We're both sophomores. I got kicked out of my old school for reasons I think should remain unknown...

The hallways were empty, and quiet. We walked over to the secretary's desk and asked her where everyone was.

"They're in the gym. "She answered.

"Oh, ok thanks." I said already walking away. I hate small talk.

We wandered around until we finally had to admit we had no idea where the gym was. That was, until we heard a voice introducing a principal Dune, from behind a door a few feet away. "Over there!" I said pointing to the door. We walked in and every single pair of eyes was on us. Well it seemed that way. Point is, lots of people were staring.

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