Stay With Me (boyXboy)

chapter 3

*Jaxon*

I had had enough... I was sick of my parents fighting... a couple of weeks ago they started blaming me for their constant bickering. I didn't know how it was my fault but apparently it was. I know you know where this is going... yes I want to kill myself... but seriously I have a good excuse... I am worthless... even my parents say that. They started beating me a few nights ago... and with Nate not being at home I can't go to him for help. We don't know where he is, he hasn't been at school very much recently either. I really didn't want to tell Lucas... the only reason Nate knew is because they started up when he was round once. So it was decided. I was going to jump in front of a train.

I was poised and ready to jump, just as train was about to pass... I was yanked back. We fell onto the ground. "Jax what the fuck do you think you are going?" It was Lucas... I didn't know what to say... why couldn't he just leave me there to jump, I would have been happier.

I tried to push him away, but he pulled me close and as much as I tried, I couldn't shake him. Eventually I gave in and cried into his chest. He rocked me... telling me that everything would be ok and whispering sweet nothings in my ear. "Let's go to the park, we can talk there" he said softly in a smooth soothing voice. I got up, not wanting to disappoint him, I knew I had to tell him about my parents so I thought I would tell him at the park.

Eventually we came to a swing set. I knew this park... it was the one that Nate's Mum first took us to when we were kids, when we had just started being friends. I loved this place... though I forgot it still existed... you know, what with everything going on and all that.

We sat down on the grass... normally we would play on the swings... but today wasn't one of those days. Luc just caught one of his best friends trying to take his own life... I could see the hurt in his eyes. The feeling of confusion washing over him. The tear welling up in his eyes, threatening to spill over and make him look weak... he was trying to keep up a strong front for me. "Why?" He managed to choke out eventually. I could tell that it wasn't what he actually wanted to say but I explained to him all the same... not that I wanted to but I owed it to him... Nate knew pretty much everything... well except about the abuse. Then again that had only started recently.

I ended up crying on Lucas' shoulder with him crying along with me. It was at this point that I knew that he cared for me... it was the first time in weeks, months, a year that I had felt truly that someone genuinely cared for me... I know deep down that Nate cares but there is always that paranoia swamping me with thoughts and feelings that I should have about my best fiends... it's why I never told Luc about my parents. Luc held me while I sobbed, letting a few tears fall frequently on my hair. Once I had calmed down I looked up into his eyes and I saw comfort... and I don't know why, but I felt the urge to kiss him at that moment, so I acted on impulse. I kissed him... I kissed my other best friend... and I am supposed to like Nate, well I am definitely going to hell now. The best part though was the fact that he was kissing me back.

After about a minute and a half of making out in a children's play park... ok there were no kids in it... the weather wasn't particularly nice let's say... and we may have been kissing in the rain a bit. Anyway we pulled away just after a minute. "Let's go back to mine... no one's home and we can dry off.

Once we were at Luc's he pinned me up against the wall and kissed me. We managed to make it as far as the Kitchen before we were completely naked. Lucas was leaving small loving kisses all over my body. He laid us on the kitchen table; his parents were on a business trip and wouldn't be home for another few days... thank god... it would have been awkward. Well guess we will have to disinfect the table tomorrow... but this was the first time I felt completely wanted and loved... I was going to enjoy it.