Forgetting the Murder

16: Persuasion

I rip up a piece of tissue in my hand until there is nothing left but shreads. I stare at the shreads as they fall to the floor, and I can't up but notice how much like the shreads I feel.

I was once a whole, strong person, happy and content. Then someone comes along to ruin it. Now I feel like bits of me are falling apart, and being scattered on the floor. My feelings only to be stamped on.

***

I awoke in the morning feeling very confused. These sheets weren't mine. This room was mine. This top sure as hell wasn't mine! Then I remembered I had spent the night at Zeke's. I got up out of bed and went into the landing.

I knocked on the door of Zeke's bedroom and let myself in. Zeke was still asleep. I crouched down beside his bed and shook him lightly.

"Zeke?" I whispered, "I'm going to go home now, OK? I need to go to work."

Zeke's eyes slowly opened, reminding me of the time I found him in the woods. Apart from that I'd never seen him asleep before.

"Oh, um, I'll get up now anyway," he said while stretching. "You know you should put some clothes on."

I blushed slightly. I had forgotten about not having any trousers on. "Oh, shut up,"

Zeke got up out of bed and led me downstairs. He was wearing sweats and a top. Who wears that for pyjamas? I followed him into his kitchen as he made me toast.

"You know I can make toast. I'm not that bad of a cook." I said.

"Well, I didn't want to risk you burning yourself." he replied patronisingly.

I walked over and shoved him out of the way and made my own toast. I don't like being patronised. I made myself some buttered toast and sat down at his kitchen table to eat it. When I had finished I put my dish in the sink and went upstairs to get changed into my outfit from yesterday which was now washed and dried.

Then I hugged Zeke goodbye and drove home to change into my work uniform. Mum and Dad were still asleep so I slipped in and out of the house without anyone even noticing. I arrived at work exactly on time.

"Hey Steve," I called happily as I entered his office.

Steve was sitting at his desk reading a book. "Hey Abby,"

"What book are you reading?" I asked.

"Stephan King's The Shining. It's creeping me out a bit, I must admit."

I laughed, "Oh, well. Is today going to be busy?"

"We've got a few booked appointments but then there's still people who come in expectantly."

"I see,"

Our conversation continued like this until the first patient came in. Steve treated him and sent him out again. The whole day just went like this. It was a very slow and boring work day. At lunch time Steve suggested going out for a coffee.

"Do you want to go to Starbucks maybe?" he asked.

"Sure, sounds great. I'll just grab my coat." I replied.

We went to the Starbucks which was a ten minute drive from the hospital. I ordered a cappuccino, like always, and Steve also got a cappuccino.

"So," Steve said while sipping his coffee, "what do you do when you're not at work?"

"Spending time with Zeke usually," I replied.

"Is he your boyfriend?"

"No," I paused, taking a deep breath, "he's my best friend."

I longed for the day where I would be able to call Zeke my boyfriend, but at this stage it didn't look like it was ever going to come.

"Would you like him to be your boyfriend?" Steve asked.

I looked up at him. Was it really that obvious? "No,"

"Oh c'mon Abby, I'm not stupid. And I'm guessing Zeke isn't either." he said.

"What are you trying to say?"

"He probably knows you like him. My advice is to just go and get him."

"No. If he knows then he's also not interested." I said stubbornly.

"I wouldn't bet on it."

Steve kept trying to convince me that I should tell Zeke how I feel about him but I kept refusing. Eventually he grabbed my shoulders and made me look him in the eye.

"Abby, Listen to me. Tell Zeke how you feel."

I broke eye contact, "I can't, Steve."

"Fifty years from now are you going to say that you didn't have the courage to tell Zeke how you feel?"

"You got that from Transformers."

Steve winked, "My favourite movie."

I grabbed my purse and stood up. "I'm sorry Steve, I just can't. Can we leave now, please?"

In Steve's car I thought about what he said, but I knew what would happen if I followed his instructions. The moment I grab Zeke and tell him how I feel, won't be followed by him kissing me. He won't feel the same way, it doesn't work like that. Life doesn't have 'happily ever afters', it had cold, hard tragedies.

"Tell him," Steve said when we were back in his office.

"Shut up, Steve." I snapped.

"I'm sorry, OK? I just want to do what's right for you."

"But I thought you liked me. Why would you want me to be with Zeke?"

"Because you're my friend, Abby. And sometimes you want the best for the people you care most about."

I thought about his words, he was right. I sighed and walked over to his desk and apologised. "Sorry. It's just that I've had a pretty hectic week. I just want things to go right,"

Steve looked at me sympathetically. "Everything will go right eventually, just be patient."

A young boy walked in with a broken collar-bone. I went to get the equipment to help Steve treat the patient. I tried hard to concentrate but I couldn't help but think about what Steve has said. Will everything go right in the end? It's never happened to me before. But then again, maybe it was because it just wasn't the end.

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Some good books to read:

-Seven Deadly Sins by tidalkid

- Pursuit of Me by LadyHollie

- Tick-Tock Goes the Clock by rocngrl3