Nothing Personal {Jalex- Book 3}

Chapter 1: I'm Such A Terrible Mess

Jack POV:  

So, I suppose the proper thing for me to do would be to recap, even though it sucks to think about. I'd been avoiding him for almost a month now. All of them really, even though it was just his fault.

After the last show of the tour Alex was supposed to end it with Lisa so we wouldn't have to go behind her back. That didn't happen. He fucked her. Or maybe it wasn't that but something sexual happened between them. I have no doubt, I saw it.

I don't know why he did it. Maybe he still had feelings for her. I liked to think not, that it was just sex, but I couldn't stop considering that maybe he really did love her more than me. He'd surely dated her for longer, and he could be with her publicly. We never could.

That night he tried to tell me it was me he loved but I couldn't bring myself to trust him.

I guess after that my defense mechanism was blocking him out. I didn't answer his calls or texts at all when I got home. I turned off my phone and it stayed like that. I figured they were all pretty worried about me but I didn't care.

They should've been worried. I was a fucking wreck.

Three weeks of being on my own, no phone, no internet, no anything. I'm sure the fans thought I was dead or something. Then again maybe they didn't care. My band didn't. My friends didn't.

I figured they gave up one me. When someone asked they'd say, Oh, Jack? Yeah, who knows where he is? We stopped caring along time ago.

That is, until someone knocked on my door. I wasn't expecting someone, and I didn't really care who it was. Except, I just really hoped it wasn't Alex. I wanted to go as long as possible without having to see him again. I knew it was inevitable.

I slowly made my way over to the front door. I chose to ignore the fact the I was in clothes I hadn't changed in about a week. Whoever was at the door would have to ignore my appearance at the moment. I'd been going through some stuff.

Zack looked up from the ground when I opened the door, "Jack."

"Who'd you think it would be?" I muttered, noticing behind him Rian and Alex were waiting. Great.

I left the door ajar and walked back into my living room where I assumed my original position on the couch. They then entered my apartment, Alex very cautiously doing so. I avoided eye contact as much as possible.

"We just didn't think you'd answer the door," Rian spoke, "You haven't answered our calls..."

"Don't feel bad." I shrugged and glanced quickly at Alex, "Haven't answered anyone's calls."

No one said anything. I shifted uncomfortably on the couch. This was my safe zone. He wasn't supposed to be here. Not now.

"We just wanted to make sure you'd still be at the studio in a week," Alex stammered quickly, keeping his eyes solely on the carpet near his black high tops, "You know, to make the new album."

I closed my eyes and sighed. Did I really want to be in a studio with him for another month or so while we created and recorded the next album? Did I really want to miss out on making the next album just because my ex would be in the same room as me?

Could I even consider Alex an ex? I think so...

Either way, I couldn't give up my band, my music just because Alex and I were done. And I wouldn't.

"Yeah," I eventually managed to say, "I'll be there."