Hold You Down [Book 5]

Chapter 34

RECAP: Chapter 33

"So how is my wonderful future son in law?" Mommy asks while she sips on her drink.

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about mommy." I said and she puts down her cup. Lookin straight at me like she can see my soul.

"What happened Onika?" Mommy asks me and I lower my head. "Look at me when I talk to you."

"I'm sorry mommy. I just don't think it'll happen anymore." I said and she sighs.

"I wanted you two to be married. Your brother is getting married, but what about you Onika? You're getting older. Not younger!" Mommy said.

"And it'll happen. But I don't think August is the one." I confessed. "All that has happened..." Mommy cuts me off.

What parent doesn't want to see their children happy? I understand my mother pretty well. She wants all of us to be happy as well as successful. She believes that nothin else will matter if there's no kids and marriage. I want that fo me too but I also need it to be the one. Ion wanna push out no babies unless there's a ring.

They say if you love something, you set it free. Well, I love August enough to see him go. It'll hurt at first but I kno overtime I'll do just fine. Errthang happens fo a reason. I'll always hold him down when he needs it.

But, to be his woman, is too much fo me to handle. Ion think I'm just ready to be committed so soon. I think I just wanna have fun and poke round. See who I can actually see a life wit. Not be the woman of a man dreams.

I see myself being a wife and mother down the line. Right now I have to focus on bein Nicki Minaj. Who kno maybe sooner I'll just be Onika Maraj. A mother instead of a rapper forever. My love fo music is the biggest thing fo me.

It took a while fo me to fully understand what I truly want. I just hope that August will understand. He'll find a woman who will be there and ride when he needs it. I wish him nothin but the best. But I'm sorry I ain't the one.

"No relationship is perfect Onika. You are a grown woman and you have to live your own life. However, nothing will come easy without a little work. You're a smart person and I ain't raise no fool." Mommy said.

I start to tear up a lil. "Onika, whatever is best for you and him is what's best. You can't hold on to something that just won't work." Mommy adds.

"You're right." I said, wiping the tears on my face. "I plan on talkin to him right after this."

"Do I need to come with you?" Mommy asks and I laugh.

"No mommy. I'm fine alone." I said.

"Okay baby."

***

"Hello August," I say as he opens up the door. I just see Wayne leavin out.

He closes the door behind me and offers me a seat. He sits in front of me. "Glad to see you. You look good." August said.

"Thank you." I said back to him. "You don't look bad yourself." August laughs.

"I wanted to talk to you too." August said.

"Oh really?" I ask him, raisin one eyebrow.

"Mhm," he mumbles.

"Since you're here... You can go ahead. I'm all ears." August said.

I take a long deep breath before I say anythin. "I wanna kno where we stand."

"Wow," he mouths his words.

"I was wonderin the same thing Nicki." He adds.

He must have been thinkin the same way.

***

Me and August just sit there in silence do a minute. He ain't even seem phased by what I wanted to kno. It was almost like he knew what was comin.  Like he basically thought the same thing as I. Maybe this was what he meant when he said he wanted to talk too.

There's no goin back now so we might as well just face it. Ion I guess I kinda expected him to show some emotion. But he ain't do that. Oh well. Let's just keep it goin.

"That's what I wanted to talk to you bout. Where do we stand in our relationship?" August asks.

"What do you think bout it period?" I ask him. He just shrugs and takes off his hat to show off his naps.

"Ion Nick. I think maybe we should call it off." August said.

"I agree. I think that maybe we weren't meant to be, y'know." I said to him and he nods his head.

"I miss how we just use to kick it." I said. "I'm just not ready fo all that commitment."

"To be fair, I ain't ready either. I gotta kid by somebody else. I just wanna focus on bein a father and my career." August said.

"I wish you nothin but the best August. I truly truly do. And, in sorry fo bein a waste of your time." I said.

August comes close to me. "Aye, you ain't waste my time. If anythin I thought it was the other way round. I'm glad that we get to be together. I just hope we can keep it cool as friends." 

"Only if you want to. Ion mind it." I said.

"So we straight then?" August asks me.

"Yeah," I nod my head. "We straight." We both get up and give each other a long ass hug.

"So it's officially over fo Augnika." I said. He just nods his head.

"But," he pauses.

"What?" I ask him.

"One last kiss before we go." August says and he grasps my face and gives me a long soft kiss.

"I love you." We both say to each other.

"I'll hold you down." August said to me and I smile.

"Goodbye August." I said to him.

"Bye," he smiles back at me.