Hold You Down [Book 5]

Chapter 30

Nicki Minaj POV

My head is spinnin. My heart is racin. My mind is so far gone. Errthang on my mind confuses me. All I can think bout is August now.

Just took a couple of sniffs fo me to really lose it. I can barely keep still or keep my eyes open. Ion wanna be here anymore. Ion wanna be a party girl. But ion wanna be August girl either.

I think it's just best that I stay all to myself. Of course I still love him but I think is best that we end it all.

Just leave now and let what used to be, go.  It was cool just bein his friend inna beginnin. It was fun just kickin it. Not tryna be somethin so serious so soon. That was our own fault.

Tryna make lust into love when we both knew the truth. I believe that we love each other. But not in a way that we tryna make it seem. I love him as a close friend; not as a wife. I honestly don't see myself being a wife right now.

I can't be tied down so soon and August has his whole life to live before bein committed. August is a loyal man and he can stay faithful to somebody he truly loves. I ain't gonna lie or deny him that truth. But sometimes I wanna go back before the drama came crumblin. I'm just stuck on the what ifs.

But errthang happens fo a reason in God's book.

So I've decided to unblock August number and see if he'd texted me any; nope. Ion blame him either. I made poor August make a fool of himself. Today he was so full of confidence in his woman. Only to leave and be a laughingstock of the show.

He was made Donkey of the Day by a gay ass nigga (Charlemagne).

I stroll up thru our old messages and reminisce on the good times before it lead all the way up to now.

August Alsina POV

I've been drinkin. I've been drinkin. Just pourin over and over again. This entire time I've been tryna drink my life away. Nicki really hurt me.

Yeah I said something's I shouldn't have said to her. But she played me once again. Made me look like the damn fool on the air. In front of the world. When I showed her all my love.

This why I never wanted to show no love. I never wanted to give my heart to a woman. But I fell fo this one woman. I thought we had it all. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be. If Meek is who she love then fine.

So be it.

I ain't chasin after her ass no mo either. This that same shit we went thru before Safaree went out. She played mind games wit the both of us. Now that I been wit her she wants out. You can't demand love and not wanna give it.

I honestly thought we could've had errthang. I wanted to marry this woman but I can't do that. She not bout to do what she did before. History ain't repeatin itself again. I'm just gonna do a U turn this round.

She wanna be free then fuck it Ima let her be free. She don't have to worry bout me holdin her back anymore. I still support her fo errthang that she do. Yet I ain't gonna let her hold me back either. We both made it to this very point.

I think we should just let it go. I mean maybe we could be friends ion. Or maybe not.

Dependin.

Then outta nowhere I get this message comin from Big Sean how Nicki just chillin wit Meek. I had to ignore all of that cause I was hurting more. She out wit the nigga too. That's just a smack in my face even more. But i mean I guess she's happy.

Then he texts me more talkin bout how turnt Nicki is. He even mentioned how Meek got her hooked. Nicki don't even do all that shit. Yeah she drinks but it's rare that she smokes. But she definitely don't do that come shit.

That I kno.

Then Nicki texts me. Please come save me. I hit Big Sean up so he can let me kno where the party at.