Stereo Love

What The Heart Wants...

Chapter 6 : Aaron's POV

*bak 2morrow!!! Cant w8 2 c u babe! X <3 Sienna*

I sat on my bed in the bus looking at her text. We are meant to be travelling home this evening - back down to London until the gig. We are only meant to be here to confirm everything, run over some ideas, see the stage and do a photo-shoot. Then we are home for just over a week before we fly back up, play and go away again. A few days later it'll be Christmas. Who knows? It might even snow.

But to be honest, I don't want to go back yet. It's nice here; I don't have constant distractions like the guys wanting to go out all the time, or numerous tv and radio interviews, or Sienna whining at me to take her shopping or to dinner. I can just go out and sit down in the peace and quiet and write. I can take my guitar and walk two minutes up the road and be virtually in the middle of nowhere. I'm finding lots of inspiration at the moment, perhaps my confused mental state is the main cause.

I don't know anymore. I don't know if I love her. That's the real reason I don't want to go home. If I do then I'll only have to talk to her, tell her, see the hurt on her face. I could try to sort it out if I went back; but I'm pretty sure seeing Sienna will only confirm my feelings instead of dispelling them. It's sad really because I did love her once, just not anymore.

Now she annoys me. The way she clings to me, always clamouring for attention from anyone - especially the paparazzi. The way one minute she's all over me and the next flirting with some other random guy on the street. The kiss she puts at the end of her texts that's just so casual - she puts it at the end of any text, to absolutely anyone - she never really means it. How she's constantly flicking her hair out of her eyes because it's always in her way - get it cut! How she only thinks of herself: my hair hasn't been dyed right; my clothes don't fit properly; my shoes don't match my necklace. Seriously, no one cares! If you don't like it go and change them, sort it yourself without complaining to me.

I don't like how she's using me. It's true what Oscar and Noah and Seb have been saying, I've just been too blind to see it. I heard them speaking the other day about how she wasn't good enough for me, how she was a dim tart - and I found myself agreeing. She's vain and selfish and she's not who I want anymore.

I want writhing curls and deep liquid eyes. I want tanned skin - not makeup caked scary 'white'. And I want pretty and funny and smart. Someone who has their own plans in life, has prospects of their own instead of using me as a way into the limelight. I want normal clothes - not something where I can see what you've eaten for dinner, it's not attractive! And normal shoes would be an absolute blessing instead of spiky 6" stilettos that make me look and feel tiny as she towers over me; I'm not exactly small at 6' and she looks just ridiculous, tottering and teetering as though one slight breeze will topple her.

I want her. The one who helped us without going into mad fan mode. The one who laughs and smiles all the way to her eyes, no pretending. The one who completely rejected me when I answered the call to Sienna the other day.The one who listened when I spoke to her instead of butting in; how she gazed at me intently, wanting to know more - about my life, about me.

I want her. I want Indiana Parker. Inds.

*no, I'm staying here. C ya later.*

- so thanks for reading!!! I'm on the What's Hot list!!!!!!!!!!! It's amazing, thank you all for your support! So this chapter is quite short but it's just a filler to explain how Aaron's debating with himself about his feelings - the next one will be more fun, promise you!!!  

Love you, Stargirlx27 xxx