Rising Moon: Evolve | Teen Wolf ( 3 )

The Benefactor

I raised my fist to the steel door but then quickly dropped it back to my side and I shook my head to myself as I mentally scolded myself for being so afraid. I took a deep breath to steady my nerves as I straightened my shoulders and I focused myself to knock firmly on the metal door as I bounced slightly on the balls of my feet.

"This is stupid." I whispered to myself with a roll of my eyes as I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and I couldn't remember ever being this nervous, not when I started high school or when I took my driver's test. It was as though a swarm of butterflies had taken up residence in my stomach and I hoped that all of their wings would fall off because I hated feeling so out of control.

I was contemplating leaving when I heard the door slide open and I snapped my head around to see Derek standing there with a confused frown on his lips. "Sophie? You knocked? You never knock."

"I wasn't sure if you'd want to see me." I admitted sheepishly as I tried not to look directly in his eyes and he raised his eyebrows in amusement as he pushed the door open further. He stepped back so that I could walk pass him into the loft and closed the door behind me before turning his attention back to me.

"What are you doing here, Soph?" he asked in slight confusion as he stood at the top of the steps by the door with his arms crossed over his chest and I turned around to face him with a small frown as I tried to formulate the right words.

"My dad left when I was like seven. My mom works her ass off to provide for us. And before sophomore year, Scott was basically a stranger who shared my house. The only people I had to lean on were Jackson and Lydia. With Jackson we mostly talked about him, since he's a self-absorbed ass. So, I only really had Lydia." I explained to him in a slightly confused tone, like I wasn't sure why I was telling him all of this but I knew why. I wanted him to understand why I was the way I was, I needed him to know who I was on the inside.

"What's going on? Are you okay?" Derek asked in concern as his eyebrows furrowed in confusion and I waved a hand dismissively in the air as I shook my head slightly with my eyes closed.

"Just shut up for a second, okay?"

"Alright."

"My entire life I've plastered a carefree smile on my face and let the world see nothing but the girl who couldn't care less. But inside? I was slowly dying. Then everything changed when Scott got the bite. And I know mostly everything is still horrible. Absolutely terrible, if we're being honest. But I feel alive for the first time in my life." I admitted with a small smile on my lips as I shrugged my shoulders slightly and his lips turned up at the corners as he slowly walked down the steps to stand at the behind. "I'm finally letting people in. There are so many people that I care about. And I love them all so much. And I wouldn't change anything. But at the same time, I'm absolutely terrified all the time now."

"Why?" he whispered as he stepped closer to where I was standing and I blinked away the tears in my eyes as I looked away from his light green eyes.

"Because, why I might act like I'm okay, losing Aiden and Allison nearly destroyed me. I still have nightmares. I still wake up in the middle of the night crying. If I let anyone get that close again, and I lose them?" I asked rhetorically as I wrapped an arm around my stomach and he reached out to touch my arm but I stepped back with tears brimming my eyes.

"I get it. If anyone can understand the pain of losing someone, it's me." Derek reminded me with a raised eyebrow as he reached out to place a hand on my upper arm and this time I let him pull me towards him slightly as I placed my hands on his biceps to keep me steady. I could feel the heat radiating off of his body as I looked away from him and I exhaled slowly as I prepared myself to say what I was about it say.