My Wolf-Boy Prince Charming

chapter 17

Jacob's P.O.V

My legs carried me down the hallway, though they could hardly keep me up right. My hand kept a shaky grip on the wall to keep me from falling.

I kept on screaming at my self. Yelling, calling myself horrible names. I felt like I wanted to die, no, that would be to nice. I wanted to be hurt ten times more than I had hurt Renee. The look on her face. The image of me slapping her and her face was all I could see when I closed my eyes.

I hated my self right now. I  would think Renee did too. My stomach turned and heaved as the thought of her never likeing me again washed over me. What if she didn't?

My wolf was hating me as much as I was too. His growls banged against my inner head. All his anger was flooding me, keeping me down to a level of his likeing. He wanted to hurt me, if not kill me for what I had done to our mate. He was telling me all the time how he hated me, what he wanted to do to me, how much he wanted to just leave me and go see HIS mate.

He kept on saying that she was HIS mate now and his alone.

His words stung each time he said something, about what I had done or that she would never love me. SEE WHAT YOU DID! You hurt MY mate! MINE! Not your's. You slapped her! slapped HER! A long growl ecoed in my mind. The though was killing me. I, and me alone, had hurt my mate. MY  MATE!

I didn't take notice of him. I knew what I had done was wrong, and now I wish I hadn't done it. I never meant to. I-I just lost my temper. No one had ever talked to me like that  before, no one.

I ran my hand over my face. What do I do now? I want to go back to her and hold her, tell her I'm sorry and it would never happen again. I just wanted to come out to her and tell her that she and she alone is my mate. Tell her I would love her for the rest of her life. But should I?

NO! Stay away from my mate! My wolf growled. Then what should I do? He went silent for a while and I thought he would never answer and I wish he wouldn't, but he did. Go, go see your father! He will know what to do. If not him, then his wolf.

I thought about it. I had nothing else that I could do, so I made my shaky legs  take me towards my fathers room.

The more away from Renee the more it hurt. How could I have hurt her? The whole point of doing this was to make her say. I just had to lose it. Why did my temper have to have gone off then? Why? First I had half turned her when I knew she didn't want to be turned and then I slapped her. I growled at myself.

I knew should would be angry. I should have seen it coming and held on to my temper. She had told me when we had been little why she didn't  want to be turned into anything and stay her own kind. She wanted to die what she was born. She had also told me there was another reason, but that was a seacret only she would ever know.

After a while of slowely walking, being yelled at by my wolf and hating myself. I reached the stairs to my fathers room. I put my hand out to the rail, I needed something to keep me from falling. I put one foot on the first step when someone cleared their throat.

I looked up, almost falling back a little. My wolf shut up as well. My father looked down on me as I looked up. I had never been so happy to see him. I could not smile though, not when my mate was in her room crying because of me.

My father was frowning, his eyes looked older then they had ever been. "Father, I...I need your help. I've done a horrible thing and I don't know what to do, please, will you help me. I-I slapped Renee father. I didn't mean to, but I lost...I lost my temper".

My father didn't seem shocked about it, but his frown deepened. "I know". Was his reply. I looked down from him and looked at the floor. How? "How father, who...told you?" I didn't look back up. The shame was heavy on my shoulders."Your wolf, it told my wolf a minute ago. I have already sent Renee's mother to see her. As for you. I will deal with you after I see to it that Renee is fine, for now you can wait in my room".

I took one step at a time to get to his room, and my father came down the stairs at the same time. As we meet in the middle he leaned into my ear and whispered to me. "Boy, I raised you better then this and so did your mother. If she was here, she would cry at what you have done. To lay hands on a woman is shamful, but to slapped your own mate, I thought you were better. Shame on you boy, shame".

I tried to talk back, but it all got stuck in my throat. I nodded my head and we both carried on walking. I did feel shame. Me, my wolf and my father knew I did. That's why my wolf didn't say another word. He kept his muzzle shut. I didn't need anymore of being put to shame. My father had just done that.

It has been a while since I had been told off and never has it been for something like this. My father had called me a boy to, not a man like he has for the last two years, a boy. He was angry with me he just wasn't showing it. He was right though, if my mother was still here she would cry.

I knew that I myself wanted to cry, because I could feel my mate crying all the way from here and it made me sick knowing that I was the reason why. I never want to hurt her again, I never DID want to hurt her.

I sat on my fathers bed after shuting the door. My eyes felt dry, but I knew that tears wanted to fall. I rested my head on what used to be my mothers pillow and her sent hit me like a brick. No matter how many times this thing was washed it  still had her sent on it.

It calmed just a little bit by her smell. I wished she was here, so so much. To see Renee, to see use be mates, have children but I really wanted her to be here now to help me. She would now how to put this right. Make things be like they never happened. That was her gift. Making mistakes seem less wrong.

I curled into a ball and held the pillow to my nose, is Renee ever gives me another chance, I will never, NEVER let something like this happen again. I can promise this now, she will never get hurt by me again. My wolf growled at me. You should have made that promise before! I leet out a breath. "I know".

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