"Dude Looks Like a Lady"

Chapter 16 Shattered Ones (Crystals POV)

(Writer's note: for a change, I quoted someone else's lyrics at the end of the chapter because I had that song in my head when I thought this part up- so blame trading yesterday. I'll put the video up at the side, but Warning: it is depressing, as is this chapter (or at least I was trying to make) so I apologise if I make you cry T-T)

Chapter 16

Shattered Ones

~Crystal

We sat in a circle in the living room, Drummer and Strings on the couch, me and Red on the coffee table. The envelope lay in front of us. We were silent, and it was smothering me. Red was shaking, his hands were clasped together and pressed against his lips. Drummer kept still, which was unusual for him. He was always tapping to some beat. Strings held a cigarette between his fingers and blew the smoke gently out his mouth with his eyes on the letter. It was the first time I ever saw him smoke. After a long stretch of silence he put the bud out on the table and opened the envelope and emptied it’s contents onto the table. A folded piece of paper and six necklaces with plectrums attached. They were some of the ones he had collected.

Strings unfolded the piece of paper and his eyes widened. After a moment Red asked, with a trembling voice, ‘Well?’

‘Yeah, it is…’

We all breathed in before he started reading the note.

How do I start this? With dear? It seems to… I dunno… Distant. I guess when you read this note you’ll be trying to answer the question "why?" It’s hard to explain. I guess you’ll probably look at my parents and think that’s the reason, it’s more than that. Knowing you, Sailor, you’ll probably just go off and blame someone, if he does guys the best thing to do is just be there for him, he’ll snap out of it eventually.

I’d like to say these things to all of you, just in case you don’t know. Strings, you’re my older brother- none of this like crap- you are. Without you I dunno where I would be now, probably still lying in a heap in the snow. You were there when I was at my weakest and helped me get back up on my feet. You made me feel worth something and that my talent wasn’t just a waste. Thanks big bro.

Drummer, what can I say? When we met I knew right away you were someone special. You’re strong and I don’t just mean with your fists, you’ll overcome your anger one day, I guarantee that. And I know you’d be stupid enough to blame yourself for this- don’t. This isn’t your fault kay? I’ll miss you.

Sailor, you were a blessing in disguise, seriously, you brought out the best in our skills and kept us in time when we were totally out of it. You were such a laugh to be with from the beginning. Thank you.

Red, it hurts knowing you’ll probably be hysterical with tears, you were always such a crybaby but I liked that about you. It was nice to have someone who knew what it felt like to be me and it was even nicer to look after you. I need you to be strong, alright? I love you all equally but you were the one I could talk to about these things, you were the one who would cheer me up. Thanks Red.

I left lyrics on the desk, it should be obvious who it’s about. I left a few of my picks in this letter, all of your favourite ones. If you meet her one day, can you give her Blesser? That was her favourite. And play that song so she knows how I feel.

I love all of you and don’t go thinking about what you could have done to stop this because you couldn’t. I was happy, am happy, when I smiled I meant it but I’ve always felt that there was something missing, that even when we had so much fun I didn’t belong here, that I wasn’t meant to be here. If it wasn’t for you guys, I would have died six years ago. So thank you all for giving me something to live for and giving me the best six years of my life. So don’t hold back because of me, you’ll make it big I promise.

This isn’t goodbye, I’ll always be watching over you.

Ray

Strings let the piece of paper float out of his hand onto the table and buried his face in his hands. He was shaking so much and I could hear him trying to suck in all the cries that were escaping. Drummer brought his knees up to his chest and let the tears run onto his jeans. I sat motionless, feeling my eyes sting as everything blurred and the feel of warm tears ran down my cheek in oily streams. I turned to Red who was hyperventilating with the tears. He slapped his hand over his mouth trying to keep in the cries of agony that were building up with in him, but he couldn’t. He leapt to his feet and ran out the door leaving the rain to fly through on the wind. I looked to Strings and he nodded, silently telling me to go after him.

I began to run after him but came to a stop in the doorway- that noise- that scream- I- I- it was a gargling wail of so much pain- a language that cut deep into my heart and I- I just fell apart. He was in so much pain and I couldn’t do anything- not one thing! He fell to his knees as his body slowly jerked into a ball, his hands clawing at his chest, his head rammed against the ground.

I limped over to him as he let out another howl of torment. I collapsed on him, wrapping my arms around him and planting my face in his back, holding him as he let out all the hurt and grief that tortured him.

Red- Oh God Red- please stop!

"And I've lost who I am,

And I can't understand,

Why my heart is so broken,

Rejecting your love- without,

Love gone wrong; lifeless words carry on.

But I know, all I know's that the end's beginning.

Who I am from the start,

Take me home to my heart.

Let me go and I will run,

I will not be silent. All this time,

Spent in vain; wasted years wasted gain.

All is lost but hope remains and this war's not over.

There's a light, there's a sun,

Taking all these shattered ones,

To the place we belong,

And his love will conquer all." –Shattered by Trading Yesterday

THE END! ....

Of part 2 :P